How to tell a man what you want to do to him in bed.?
Posted Tue Jun 07, 2011 12:28 AM
Posted Tue Jun 07, 2011 12:51 AM
Posted Tue Jun 07, 2011 12:59 AM
Posted Tue Jun 07, 2011 01:02 AM
Posted Tue Jun 07, 2011 01:17 AM
Posted Tue Jun 07, 2011 01:20 AM
Posted Tue Jun 07, 2011 01:54 AM
I think you should just come right out and say it. Tell him what you want him to do to you, or more accurately tell him what you want him to do for you. If you are trying "keep the spark going" then avoid clinical terms...it's not you vagina, or your labia, it's your pussy lips. You may also want to tell him what you want to do for him.
To get over your shyness, remember that he is the one wanting it, so you have no fear that he might not like it. You're already having sex with him, and this is just words, so when you think about it, that shouldn't be a problem. I know it is, because it means that you are opening your soul up just a little, and we are all afraid of doing that.
Good luck with it, and have some fun.
Posted Tue Jun 07, 2011 05:34 AM
Posted Tue Jun 07, 2011 10:19 AM
I hope that make sense i am not to sure if it does.
Posted Tue Jun 07, 2011 10:29 AM
I totally agree with Jade on this one. There's no need for you to pay someone to write something for you. It would be a shame for someone to take advantage of you like that.
If your husband is asking for this, then I'm sure he'll like whatever you write, even if it's simple. In fact, you should feel lucky that he asked. I've tried to get my guy to write erotic stories with me, and he didn't even try because he was too worried that I wouldn't like it. In reality, I would have been thrilled if he had even sent me a little paragraph.
Plus, this is your relationship. Anything that anyone else who doesn't know him writes will be fake. If it's not from you, then it's not genuine and from your heart.
Here are a few ideas:
-Read some erotica or some of the stories posted here and in our members' blogs. There are a ton of good ideas for situations and scenarios and types of sexual acts that can be performed. I have a threesome story in my blog, and I've never even had a real threesome. It's all from my imagination.
-Golfer had a great suggestion about avoiding clinical or medical terms for body parts. It's not your "vagina" - it's your pussy. It's not his "penis" - it's his cock, his dick, his throbbing shaft, etc. It's not "intercourse" - it's sex, fucking, etc. And if you're not comfortable with these words, you can create names for body parts. If you don't like "pussy," then call it your "hot sex." If you don't like "cock," then use seemingly innocent words - "tool" or "rod" or "thick pole" - that aren't sexual in themselves but become sexual when you use them that way.
-I'm sure he's not expecting you to write a novel here. Try writing just a couple of paragraphs. Try getting the story started by writing about what you're wearing (or taking off) and give him a verbal striptease. And when you've run out of steam for the night, ask him to continue the story and tell you what happens next. Then, he'll send you the next installment, and you can read it and continue the story. You two could go back and forth ten times or more before you reach the actual ending. It takes some of the pressure off not to have to write a lot at first. Start slowly.
-Watch porn to get ideas. Choose some porn that you like - it doesn't have to be anything too rough or too dirty. Choose some amateur couples making love. Watching porn will give you ideas because you can describe what that couple is doing and use what they're saying during sex as dialog in your story.
-Or just fantasize. Imagine a time when you and your guy had hot sex. Think about where you were - whether or not you were on a vacation, etc. Think about each part of sex. Don't start with the penetration and sex part. Start with foreplay. Describe how he's kissing you or whatever else he's doing - licking, using his hands on your body - and how it feels to you.
-I totally agree that you should include your point of view in the story. Guys like to see and hear a woman's reaction to what they're doing - during live sex but also when they watch porn. If the woman is genuinely having a good time or if it at least appears that she is, then a guy will be more interested and will be watching her face and listening to her noises. Describe how he's making you feel in the story, and you should tell him how your body is reacting (i.e. "My pussy is getting so wet and slippery from you licking me.").
-Include things in the story that you might not normally do IRL. For example, if you've never role-played before, create a role-playing scenario in which he's a handsome surgeon and you're a curvy nurse. Really get into the parts. Instead of just being different people, have sex in an appropriate place - for example, with you bent over the operating table. Or you can use other characters - a pilot and a flight attendant who give the word "COCKpit" a new meaning. I wrote a story once that included a charismatic real estate agent and put myself in the position of checking out a house that I wanted to make an offer on. In the story, my character met the real estate agent at the house, and he used his belt to strap my wrists to the stair railing. You can be anybody in a story because it's not real.
Posted Thu Jun 09, 2011 03:37 PM
First off, the guy is going to be lucky (no pun intended) to be sleeping with you anyway so it isn't really his place to get frustrated when you ask him to do something. So basically if he is going to fast for you say, "Hey! You are going too fast." and then explain to him what you want him to do. I guarantee you that he will get turned on even more so than before when he realizes what he is doing is making you moan or what have you.
Secondly, it is your body. That implies that you DON'T have to let someone use it. Which means, if anything, that the guy rooting around on top (or bottom) of you has no right to just go at it like he wants. Don't be afraid to speak up. Shit, what is the point of sex with someone who doesn't know how to please you? I imagine you could please yourself 10 times better than that guy with your fingers, a bottle of lube and a vibrator. If it doesn't blow your mind, don't worry about hurting his feelings, he is going to be grateful in the long run anyways because he will LEARN how to please you. And if he moves onto someone else he will better know how to please that person (maybe not 100% to their liking but it wouldn't be back to the drawing board).
My summary, us guys need help. Teach us what YOU want us to do to YOU. We don't know. haha Help us get there, after all, we may be a little upset about it but we aren't going to say anything, we're still getting some after all. Hope this helps.
Posted Thu Jun 09, 2011 05:14 PM
Posted Thu Jun 09, 2011 05:24 PM
LOL, thanks, dfwmma105.
That post inspired me to post a blog entry, so that information is there for anybody who is interested in reading it.
Posted Mon Jun 13, 2011 11:50 PM