Getting Stood Up...Again...and Again...and... Guys no BS just give it to me straight
Posted Sat Jun 18, 2011 03:20 AM
Posted Sat Jun 18, 2011 03:26 AM
Early 20's guys can often find beer with their friends more appealing than a date.
Try someone a little older and I bet you get better results.
Posted Sat Jun 18, 2011 03:27 AM
Posted Sat Jun 18, 2011 03:45 AM
Posted Sat Jun 18, 2011 04:06 AM
Posted Sat Jun 18, 2011 06:20 AM
Well Jade, that really sucks... And I would also be pissed as hell although I have to say that it has never happened to me. I've had cancellations at the last minute and I get pissed, but at least I haven't put on my makeup and driven anywhere. That would be the threshold for me.
Now, about the reasons of this happening. The first one that comes to mind is character... Someone who does this, is in my opinion, a liar and lacks character. Jade, you have to weed those guys out, and I'm afraid I don't have a tested way of do it, but so far, I've found that guys who are nice and polite are usually a lot better about this.
But then, some guys can act perfectly nice and still be jerks underneath; so I'd suggest you test their interest... I usually prefer to plan dates in the middle of the week. In my case it's because I'm busy with the family over the weekends, so it's easier to go out on dates weekday evenings; but I'd assume most people have a lighter schedule during the week. Now, you should stay away from those guys who party... If you're dating for a relationship or even just for hookup, leave alone the busy boys, and try to do something with the guys who don't have the opportunity to go out that often. This is got nothing to see with looks because I've found that many of them are quite good looking; but it's got to see more about personality.
I'm just letting my thoughts ramble here, but I hope this helps.
Posted Sat Jun 18, 2011 06:28 AM
honestly i can't think of anything that really makes sense. might be they are in a relationship and they remember it the last momment, i don't know honestly.
hmmm i got a crazy thought. maybe they feel kind of intimidated by you, being all confident and stuff and they want to spite you. you know make you feel rejected before you make them feel that way. crazy i know but we are talking about humans.
Posted Sat Jun 18, 2011 07:00 AM
Posted Sat Jun 18, 2011 07:41 AM
Posted Sat Jun 18, 2011 08:38 AM
This post has been edited by Cardswin: Sat Jun 18, 2011 08:56 AM
Posted Sat Jun 18, 2011 09:06 AM
My cousin had a different strategy when she was dating a guy who constantly stood her up. After the first couple times sitting in her house literally all dressed up and nowhere to go, she just stopped. She figured out that she could be ready in 15 or 20 minutes and if he actually showed up to take her out, he could and would wait that long.
There are men out there who aren't like this, so keep trying to find one of them, but until you do, keep your head up.
Posted Sat Jun 18, 2011 09:15 AM
And I would not be able to make dates during the week cause I work and I get very worn out from it its been very stressful and when I get home I'm usually not in the mood to go out. when I have to be up early to do it again.
I just dont get why they cant just tell me they changed their mind instead of letting me sit around waiting feeling like an idiot. I would appreciate that so much more than leaving me hanging. I mean this guy last night who seemed nice and called himself respectful, I'd really like to tell him that what he did was really rude but I dont want to come across as nagging. I mean unless he's in the hospital there is no excuse to not text and say "I'm not coming".
Posted Sat Jun 18, 2011 09:23 AM
PS: It has nothing to do with the age.
Posted Sat Jun 18, 2011 10:48 AM
For future dates, wouchgirl's technique seems to be the best option. If they can't wait 20 minutes to date you....
Posted Sat Jun 18, 2011 10:51 AM
That's a clever idea. The only thing I would do differently, if possible, would be to text him the night before and set a confirmation date between 2-3 the next day. That gives plenty of time to get back, or to call with an excuse.
Posted Sat Jun 18, 2011 11:04 AM
There's no shortage of guys ever... It's just frustrating dealing with them. I don't even have PMS anymore, but sure guys get moodier and moodier with time. So, this is not going to get any better. They may get a little more punctual with dates, but they get so set in their ways that you just wonder what's better.
Courage ma belle!
Posted Sat Jun 18, 2011 11:20 AM
Posted Sat Jun 18, 2011 11:30 AM
Posted Sat Jun 18, 2011 12:54 PM
Posted Sat Jun 18, 2011 01:18 PM
Totally agree with Golfer... When I had employees, one didn't show up to work one day, there was not going to be a second time unless there was a pretty good reason. Then, if a supplier left me hanging and working like hell to please my customers, you bet he was not going to get another order from me. This is how people learn once they understand that you need to have your shit together to function in this world.
I just extend my business attitude onto my personal life... We're all busy these days... And sometimes women are a lot busier than men for that matter. I not only have to earn a living, I have to take care of my family after I finish working, so I don't have time to put up with such disrespectful attitudes. My time IS expensive and needs to be given proper consideration.
Oh, I'll tell you Jade, once I was seeing some hot shot of the executive kind in a big corporation, and it took a little bit of a forceful chat to make him understand that time with my children was "as" important if no more than the business meetings he used as a cancellation excuse. As you can imagine, things didn't went much further than a couple of meetings.