Is it possible to give women TOO much respect?
Posted Wed Feb 14, 2007 09:45 PM
1. Women are these almighty beings that will strike down any man who dares to try and grace their presence: I realize that's not the case, but that's often my mindset. I'm putting women on a pedstal of sorts. I often have a worst-case scenario way of thinking. I fall into the trap thinking that girls will just simply see me as trying to get in their pants even if I'm just making small talk. Or the girl just uses her power to reject me just because she can or she thinks she's the shit or something. I realize that I'm not giving them enough credit for them to make their own judgements but it's hard to me to break that frame of mind. The end result is that I don't approach women all that much.
2. The asshole factor: One thing that could be an issue is that girls don't gravitate toward guys like me. I'm the shy, nice guy, but it seems as if those guys are classified as boring and unimaginative. A lot of these girls I see describe themselves as being attracted to assholes, guys who are more outgoing, adventerous, and unpredictable. Even though they're aware of it, they seem to sleep with or date these same types of guys. It irritates me somewhat. It's kinda in my nature to be submissive to women, even to the point where I'm not putting my own best interests at heart. So I end up sitting on the sidelines while some other dude gets his.
I don't know, this whole issue is just a head-scratcher to me. :icon_scra
Posted Wed Feb 14, 2007 09:59 PM
Posted Wed Feb 14, 2007 10:24 PM
I get the feeling that this thing could easily collapse into a discussion of semantics - that is, what exactly does "respect" mean, and so on.
Posted Wed Feb 14, 2007 11:16 PM
Your view of women causes you to be shy and not as confident in yourself and who you are when you are with women, from what you described. You said you have a view but you know better and you want to change, well that can be portrayed as insecurity. That you are a nice guy who, during interaction, seems like he wants to be doing something differently. The hit or miss part is where you do or don't decide to act on that desire to be different.
When you waver on that insecurity and then continue being shy we think you are not as confident, or whatever it is, as we might like. If, however, you know that you want to be more outgoing and flirtatious and you are talking with a woman and you feel that insecurity saying that you should be this other way, and you act on it, you might be suprised with the results.
Posted Wed Feb 14, 2007 11:57 PM
Posted Thu Feb 15, 2007 05:12 AM
Posted Thu Feb 15, 2007 01:22 PM
So I think the trick is to always respect those around you, while at the same time always attempting to better yourself and be someone YOU are proud to be. Females will see that pride and confidence in you, and then they will be more interested in finding out more regarding who you are.
Posted Thu Feb 15, 2007 02:44 PM
Posted Thu Feb 15, 2007 03:12 PM
Posted Thu Feb 15, 2007 03:31 PM
You have no idea.
Posted Thu Feb 15, 2007 09:33 PM
If you women treat you like this, then you're hanging around the wrong sort of women. As someone else said, confidence is a big thing. If you find girls are ignoring you or putting you down for just being nice, then they aren't nice. The respect thing works both ways.
That said, when i comes to true respect, not condescention (sp?) you can never give someone too much.
Posted Thu Feb 15, 2007 09:41 PM
Posted Thu Feb 15, 2007 10:13 PM
Posted Thu Feb 15, 2007 10:39 PM
Posted Thu Feb 15, 2007 11:29 PM
I like this ^^
It has to be genuine. Not fake or too much or it comes off as patronizing like Badly Bent said. Then it's the opposite of respectful.
Reminds me of the 40 Year Old Virgin when he said, "I love women. I RESPECT women. I respect women so much that I completely stay away from them!!" Good movie!
Posted Sat Feb 17, 2007 04:01 PM
Posted Sat Feb 17, 2007 07:31 PM
Posted Sun Feb 18, 2007 12:46 PM
I agree with that sentiment. If you give them too much respect then girls will think you are a 'yes' man who has no personality. Just be yourself and talk to them like you would talk to a male friend (except maybe tone down any bad language)
I used to have the same problem myself and sometimes you can try too hard. You have to be at ease with yourself. Be the nice guy but not to the point where it becomes sycophantic.
Posted Sun Feb 18, 2007 12:52 PM