Open relationships and Singers
Posted Tue Jun 28, 2011 11:09 AM
They seem so much more at ease. There is no jealousy and seemingly less fear. The can be totally honest with their partner and don't have to hide anything.
Any1 with an open relationship or swingers care to explain how you met another open minded person?
Generally, if, especially a guy, says he's looking for a relationship with a women who would be OK with him sleeping around, he goes to the back of the line.
Do most of these relationships start out normal and monogamous and morph in time into an open relationship?
If so, then it would just be dumb luck that you got a partner that may sometime in the future be into it. You never would really know going in to it though.
I guess with the net and craigslist now its easier, but I still find the odds staggering that you would find someone merely compatible on an intellectual and personal level, let alone narrowing the playing field exponenentially lower through the filter of this small niche group.
Posted Tue Jun 28, 2011 11:45 AM
I'd like to point out that swinging is not at all the same as an open relationship. We do all our swinging activities together, always in the same room, and we always have to both agree on who, what, when, and where. Open relationship activities are typically separate from the core relationship and they are much more difficult to maintain due to the increased opportunity for secrets and lies.
In order for swinging or open relationships to work, there must be a line of communication that is always open. There must be a complete lack of jealousy, which is actually easier than it might seem. I know that my SO isn't going to cheat on me. Why would he? He has ample opportunity to sleep with other women. All of his sexual fantasies are open for discussion and are likely to be fulfilled. I know that he loves me and only me, and what we do with others is just play time. It's just sex, and it takes our sex life to a whole new level.
One of the couples that we met with recently put it best. "Doing this constantly reminds us why we are together. Every time we talk to another couple we get to tell them what's so great about each other and our relationship." How often do you get to do that in your life?
Posted Tue Jun 28, 2011 11:50 AM
Posted Tue Jun 28, 2011 11:55 AM
How often do you get to do that in your life?
That's my point. For every individual that proposes this, I'll bet there are 99 that freak out at the proposition.
Posted Fri Sep 02, 2011 11:57 AM
Posted Sun Sep 04, 2011 10:49 PM
I think the key was that we are both really open people, which is what I think an open relationship is really, and that's what really attracted us to each other. So my advice is to assess the kinds of openness you are looking for, and then look for a woman who shares your attitudes. I don't think it would work to have a completely closed and monogamous relationship and try to turn your girl into having an open one.
I've always thought it was fun just to chat about things like this, and don't be afraid to approach women who you think are out of your league. My theory is that they can sometimes be amenable to open relationships because it will probably benefit them more than you.