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need guys advice please :) and serious answers only thanks don't think my boyfriend is satisfied with me
Posted Tue Jul 19, 2011 05:50 AM
Posted Tue Jul 19, 2011 06:10 AM
Firstly your boyfriend sounds like an insensitive asshole. By the sound of it, he shows no interest in your emotional well being and has unrealistic expectations of you. In regards to the porn, if it bothers you, let him know and tell him its not something you will tolerate. Alternatively make it something he can only enjoy in your presence. Realistically though I doubt his behaviour will change even if you tell him of your concerns. I suggest dumping his ass. I would also give serious thought as to whether or not you are comfortable with being a single parent. At three months abortions can be carried out with few problems. There's plenty of material out there. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh but from where I'm standing this guy sounds like someone you're better off without. Good luck and feel free to pm me if you want any more advice.
Posted Tue Jul 19, 2011 07:08 AM
Gotta tell him to stop fingering you because you get too sore and start fucking you because it's what you need. Hopefully he'll understand.
The porn itself is not necessarily a problem, but that fact that it allows him to take sex with you or leave it is.
Probably because he missed you. How would it show whether you cheated?
You need to put at stop to it if it hurts. Tell him it hurts and he can't do it anymore. Ask him if he is trying to hurt you, and that things he sees in porn
don't necessarily feel good in real life.
It sounds like his is a porn addled brain, and he has some mistaken notions about pleasing a woman. Explain to him what it takes to please you,
and if he still acts like a 'tard, then do what the previous poster said.
This post has been edited by rao78: Tue Jul 19, 2011 07:14 AM
Posted Tue Jul 19, 2011 07:26 AM
I'm sorry, but you need to have a serious talk with him, and force him to solve his problem.
Posted Tue Jul 19, 2011 07:47 AM
if it hurts or you dont enjoy it then you need to stop. yes he will be dissapointed and possibly hurt but he will just have to get over it as it will only make you feel worse if you let it continue
it may be that as regards to the squirting, he gets off on making you cum. have you told him what really gets you going or better still if you dont want to confront him guide him with your hands or whatever to what gets you off.
as for not wanting penerative sex it could be that he is suffering from premature ejaculation and cannot control himself whilst inside you there is loads of litrature on the net regarding this
as for the future if he is into you he will understand and start to look after your needs both emotionally and physically and you will need the emotional support throughout the pregnancy as your hormones will be running riot
Posted Tue Jul 19, 2011 08:34 AM
Posted Tue Jul 19, 2011 08:38 AM
Posted Tue Jul 19, 2011 11:16 AM
Posted Tue Jul 19, 2011 01:25 PM
Posted Tue Jul 19, 2011 01:38 PM
Yeh its been said above your BF sounds abit wrapped up in whats good for him, not whats good for you or both of you.
In order to fix these things the best way to start is talking to him, find a good time of the day or night and put your point over, us men are very simple to understand and sometimes we go wrong, but we can be fixed SOMETIMES without any problems.
One thing we are not is mind readers, you need to have a chat with him.
Most men look at porn, most women get turned on by touch, but most men get turned on by sight, what we see turns us on.
But as Olive has pointed out, he could be locked into porn if he's watching alot of it.
I hope it all works out am sure it will, sometimes us men just need a little bit of guidance.
Posted Tue Jul 19, 2011 01:44 PM
I wouldn't go over the top with this, initially. You both will have a child together soon and possibly he, like many guys, is simply a ignorant, over-zealous individual. Notice, I didn't say stupid. Just ignorant.
He may think that if it excites him, that it should excite you. He could also be going through a cycle at the moment that will work itself out.
One way my SO and I work through these things is simply using verbal-guided imagination.
Such as, while in the act, ask him to close his eyes and imagine it is his fist and not his cock penetrating you.
Talk shit, tell him you can't physically do these things, but you are willing to aide in his fantasy.
You never know.
I would avoid ultimatums or other drastic measures just yet. Relationships are full of quirks. Just have to find some middle ground.
Posted Tue Jul 19, 2011 02:49 PM
Very rarely I would recommend ultimatums to solve relationship problems, but this is one instance in which you owe it to your baby. Let him fight his battles, while you take care of your baby the best way possible. Your boyfriend needs to be in good mental health to be able to take care of the baby too. So, prioritize accordingly.
Posted Tue Jul 26, 2011 03:13 PM
Both of you need to develop realistic expectations and not just focus on producing and orgasm or you both will continue to experience problems in the future. Sexual intercourse is about building a connection and enjoying the pleasures.
Female sexuality and male sexuality are completely different and both expect different outcomes.
The reason that he comes home and wants sex is because he has programmed his mind to realize sex as he would when he masturbates. You say that you have a high sexual desire, maybe you should try giving him sex more often but when you do be more intimate about it. Try to build a connection like when you and him first started to have sex.
When you do have sex, pay attention to how long he lasts then you will know if he has premature ejaculation.
What do you expect from sex?
Posted Tue Jul 26, 2011 04:56 PM