1. Were you sexually abused as a child or adolescent?
2. Do you regularly purchase romance novels or sexually explicit magazines?
3. Have you stayed in romantic relationships after they become emotionally or physically abusive?
4. Do you often find yourself preoccupied with sexual thoughts or romantic day dreams?
5. Do you feel that your sexual behavior is not normal?
6. Does your significant other(s), friends, or family ever worry or complain about your sexual behavior?
7. Do you have trouble stopping your sexual behavior when you know it is inappropriate and/or dangerous to your health?
8. Do you ever feel bad about your sexual behavior?
9. Has your sexual behavior ever created problems for you and your family?
10. Have you ever sought help for sexual behavior you did not like?
11. Have you ever worried about people finding out about your sexual activities?
2. Has anyone been hurt emotionally because of your sexual behavior?
13. Have you ever participated in sexual activity in exchange for money or gifts?
14. Do you have times when you act out sexually followed by periods of celibacy (no sex at all)?
15. Have you made efforts to quit a type of sexual activity and failed?
16. Do you hide some of your sexual behavior from others?
17. Do you find yourself having multiple romantic relationships at the same time?
18. Have you ever felt degraded by your sexual behavior?
19. Has sex or romantic fantasies been a way for you to escape your problems?
20. When you have sex, do you feel depressed afterwards?
21. Do you regularly engage in soda-masochistic behavior?
22. Has your sexual activity interfered with your family life?
23. Have you been sexual with minors?
24. Do you feel controlled by your sexual desire or fantasies of romance?
25. Do you ever think your sexual desire is stronger than you are?
Well basically, I answered yes to all but 4 of these questions and they suggest I'm probably a sex addict and need some sort of medical help.
I was a bit shocked.
Then I was a bit excited - like wow I have a sickness
Then I was a bit depressed.
I mean, I've always loved sex - really loved it - right from when i first sucked cock as a kid. I thought really hard about it, about everything I've done and who I've done it with, where and how often, and there is so much fucking to think about, so much I can't remember loads of it. I used to keep tabs in a diary so I hunted it out and I cried when i read some of the stuff I was doing as a teenager and uni student. I was so into it it was frightening and sad at kinda kinky at the same time. i couldn't even remember some of the occasions and lots of the names meant nothing to me at all. I'm glad I never kept notes for the last few years and all the men i fucked at the house. It'd put the shockers on the people at LIFE lol.
Thing is, I just don't know.
I mean I didn't do any of it coz I was forced into it, at least I don't think I did, although I recognize some of my early relationships with older men were abusive, all those after school sex sessions and the blow jobs in the toilets for treats and stuff, but I always thought I was in control, that I could always walk out. Now I wonder if it was so hard to leave Marcus and the boys at the house because I was addicted to the fucking and the whore's way I was treated, I mean like not just loved it, but couldn't live without it.
I think about why I suddenly had that 3some with my Mum's b/f and think : is this it for me?
I'm quite upset. I didn't go to work yesterday. Mum tried to cheer me up, but I could hardly talk to Mum could I?
I wish I wasn't so horny all the time.
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