The days go by so fast; days and nights and days again, it's almost scary how time goes by without realizing it. I'm growing up; dammit and I'm only 26 but in a heartbeat I'll be 36 and still be as I am now. Lost, immature and stupid. I try, I try rly hard to improve things, y isn't it working, y the fuck don't I make enough money to buy a car yet :( I'm gonna forget how to drive soon and I'll still won't be able to afford one.
I like my loneliness so much it seems that's another thing to keep me from improving things, if it's improvement to have a family one day. The bf keeps brainwashing me about the whole 'years go by fast, we must have a kid' thing and I'm losing it. I wanna be alone. ALOOOONE! I need to scream to everyone 'shut up and get away from me'! y all that rage I don't know but it seems hard to control lately. working out a lot but still the energy remains. and the nightmares ughh; no wonder I've become a fucking insomniac. Who wants to sleep with all the terror playing on my dreams? but y? I can't explain it, can't think, meditation skills r rusty, I need to take that up again.