I don’t know what it is. Having grown up in the “Bible Belt,” in a state where dildos and porn are still actually illegal (NOT where I currently live), I guess I have been sheltered from a lot of the sexual activities that people do. I have been an adult for many years, but it seems like I am finally giving myself permission to explore and experience some of the greatest sensations we as humans can discover…our own sexuality. I have already mentioned my apprehension to admit that I would like to be with a man and a woman again, together, at the same time. Well, today, I knocked down another wall- I went into the porn store and rented a couple of movies and bought a small dildo and some lube for myself.
It was strange walking in the first time. I had no idea where everything was and had to ask a question.
“I’m sorry. I’ve never been here before. I’m looking for a video with “mmf” action in it.”
“What do you mean?” she enquired.
She was a young college girl with perky tits dressed like a guy with a shaved head. I thought “What the fuck?!? You work in a porn store! What do you mean you don’t know what ‘mmf’ means? Are you going to make me ask exactly what it is in front of this guy I don’t even know?” I was terrified. I wasn’t sure how I was going to react or what I was going to say. Then, I noticed he was buying a penis enlargement device and I was glad I wasn’t him.
“Oh, you mean bisexual?” she said.
Whew! I didn’t have to say any of the shit that was running through my brain! I was still cool/not freaking out.
We have a very small supply in that stack against the wall over there.”
“Cool! Thank you!”
“But if you want to rent movies, we’re going to have to get an account set up for you. We are going to need a valid credit card and your ID.
There it was, another hurdle to overcome in my mind. “What if someone recognizes me? What if someone from work or the networking group or some other professional group I’m a member of comes in and sees me? Wait a minute! If someone I know sees me here, they are here for the same thing I am here for. Re-fucking-lax!”
I got my credit card approved and filled out the necessary paperwork.
Then, I quietly looked about the store until I found the stack that she was referring to. There it is! I found a total of 3 videos. One of which had something to do with military and I got away from that one. Not a turn on for me. Then, there were only two more to try. Then I thought “Maybe I should buy a…a…a…what do you call them…a…um…Fucking say it already! Say ‘dildo!’ Say it! Say ‘I want to buy a dildo so I can stick it up my ass!’”
The selection was close to the door and I hadn’t settled up for the videos yet and I could tell the employees were getting a little nervous. “Fuck, give them the videos so they don’t think I’m going to run out the door with them...after I gave them my credit card info. Then I can look to my heart’s content.
I am tired of trying to make this a short story, so here it is the ending. Here’s what I came home with…
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