Women don't like guys in panties because they want MEN, not sissys, not gay guys, and not TV's. It's that simple.
Lest we end this prematurely, there is more to consider.
Women want men to complete their lives. There is a whole panoply of anthropological research on male / female relationships, and I have no intention of a dissertation here. But the fact of the matter is that many women have a preconceived notion of what a man should be in an intimate relationship. Yes, they do like a manly physique and demeanor, and a large cock never seems to be a detriment.
For many women, "sissys" are high maintenance and whiners. They don't need that in their lives. Guys that are TV's are probably looking for other men to "complete" them, so there is no place for a women in that relationship, unless she is a dom. Surprise, surprise, dom women are a minority in the whole of the female population. This may be a somewhat controversial statement, but I would certainly bet on it when considering the the general female population as a whole.
Also, many women do not like the whole lingerie dress-up routine. Wearing pantyhose, garters, girdles, etc is uncomfortable for many of them. Many of them were / are forced to do this on a daily basis as a dress code for their jobs, and they don't enjoy it. It doesn't turn them on, and a guy doing it probably reminds them of the negative aspects of being forced to do this in a male dominated society.
OK. So ladies have an issue with either sexy or everyday lingerie. (This may be a uniquely American perspective. In our society (the US) there has been a general trend to dressing down in both physical appearance and clothing. There is an attitude to "let it all hang out", which not only applies to women but to men too. In other countries, Europe and Japan come to mind, I think there is still an appreciation of a higher level of dress and appearance.) As a consequence, women are less inclined to embrace fancy lingerie as a routine appearance. This is my opinion anyway.
On the other side, many men find ladies underwear attractive and sexy. Which is probably why a male dominated culture expects women to dress this way. Look at all the posts on this site devoted to various forms of women's underwear. Clearly, guys are interested!
Not only are men turned on by lingerie, but many of them fantasize by wearing their own lingerie. This is where it gets a bit complicated. Some men have gender identity issues, and cross dressing is a way to deal with this. These are the TV's I referred to earlier. I can't comment too much personally, but I think they are identifying with their feminine side, and would tend to prefer contact with other men. For women seeking men, the TV is not a good choice, reinforcing their disdain for guys wearing panties. (These are my opinions, and if any CD / TV's want to comment, please do so. I would be interested in your perspective.)
But there are hetero guys (yours truly for one) who are turned on by wearing panties or pantyhose as a way to get closer to them. We are turned on by women wearing these, and wearing them ourselves brings us closer to that experience. It's hard to explain further. There are other benefits, such as the fact that most women's underwear has a softer, silkier feel. Then there are the tight fitting control top garments that hold everything in place.
That tight fit actually feels kind of sexy. When I walk around while wearing these types of undergarments, it's like my cock is getting an all day massage! It's pretty cool. The tight fit is also a benefit if a guy is prone to getting "excited" during the day. There is nothing more uncomfortable that having a big boner flopping around loosely in your pants. You get chaffed. It feels uncomfortable. It can look inappropriate. Women's support hose or panties feel really great in these circumstances and keep everything held in place.
Women should also appreciate that if wearing these panties gets a guy hard as a rock, what's wrong with that? It may be a bit awkward, but if you understand his feelings and appreciate his "response" to the situation, then you may be open to this idea.
For men, I think there are certain boundaries you need to respect. If you want to wear them, buy your own! I can understand how women get uptight if their husband or BF wears their undies. They don't want your pubic hair, they don't want them stretched out, and they certainly don't want any skid marks or other stains! You also need to be sure you explain that you are still the man, and that this diversion is a way to heighten your sexuality for your mutual benefit.
I think there is a way for everyone to get along here and enjoy themselves.