My second idea, though simple, would prove quite riveting. Without even looking at him I would yell out, “Shit fuck fucking shit face ass sucking shit fucked cunt sucking mother fucking fuck fucked fucking fuck face!” With as much vigor as I could muster and then gauge the reaction of this simpleton, and proceed from there. However, given further consideration I realized that the public spectacle that this course of action would inevitably create, however hilarious, would put me in the must unconformable of situations, so I considered another course of action.
Approximately half a second had elapsed and my time for repercussive action drew to a close, so I reached deep inside myself and thought of yet another possible response. This time I decided for a more subtle approach. I would walk over to him and say, “Hey man, I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation. You’re such a bad ass watching R rated movies; I can’t believe you would do that. All I can ever do is get laid, which reminds me the other night I was fucking this chick; I didn’t even know her name, but I was fucking her and she was like ‘oh do me’ and I was like ‘oh yeah I’m doing you’ and we were just going at it for hours and hours. Then when she finally couldn’t take anymore we decided do a couple lines and cocaine laced with meth and Tylenol, drink a fifth of ever clear and jump off a bridge naked. That was some night, so what movie did you watch?” But after further evaluation I decided that after telling him this story he might very well believe it and start spreading rumors about me, so in the end I decided this course of action, however hilarious, did not suite my purposes.
Another option was to ask him which movie he saw and then upon hearing his response attempt to convince him that the movie was actually rated PG, or go in the opposite direction and convince him that he had watch an hour and half to two hours and hardcore pornography. I could have informed him that all R rated movies omit a signal which fires a synapse in your frontal lobe creating an addiction which needs to be fed with progressively more violent, graphic, gory, and sexual films until eventually it bleeds into your life and you kill and rape everyone you know with an axe. Or I could have told him that everyone who watches R rated movies is openly admitting that they are a raging homosexual. Or maybe I could just tell him he was ugly, though regrettably, while I pondered these numerous options I let my chance to act slip through my fingers and I walked away with little more than a smirk.