What I want I cannot seem to have. I live in a state of almost constant heartache because the one I love is now in love with/fucking someone else. I just spent the loneliest night of my life. I've had enough. I'm tired of trying to motivate myself to get past this feeling and move on. I'm tired of trying to convince myself that I want her to be happy even if it means being happy with another man. I won't be able to truly want that until much time has past and the dullness that characterizes my life is replaced with some type of excitement or enjoyment.