Discipline; n. activity, exercise, or a regimen that develops or improves a skill; training.
Discipline may be one of the aspects at the heart and soul of my relationship. If you're one who reads my stuff, you've seen this. I've read many stories about people who live the alternate lifestyle; a life of BDSM interaction between two people. Most of them were fiction, and I can't say I know anyone who practices this way of life. I'm sure they are out there. It's said that they are the people you'd least expect. It could be a co-worker, a friend, or that pretty woman you seem to always run into at Starbucks, but her eyes never even wander.
The "alternate lifestyle", ahh, the quintessential self-label for those taking part in a true BDSM relationship. The idea is phenomenal; a Dominant, and his or her submissive. It is a whole way of life according to many things I've read. The submissive is trained, or disciplined, to behave respectfully, honestly, and to submit one's life, existence and love to their Master. It's a beauty of an idea. Imagine, a world of absolute control, with strict code of conduct. In a BDSM relationship, the submissive serves the Master by giving one's self- unconditional devotion- and in return, is embraced, cared and respected completely by Master.
I've thought about it many times. I've even shared my feelings with my girlfriend. To little surprise, she also liked this idea. It's one thing to like an ideology, in fact there are many ideologies that I like or don't like, yet it's a whole different thing to actually follow through and live a life infused with BDSM culture. For my relationship, it's not practical, nor possible really. We role play it sometimes, but living it is nearly impossible. BDSM revolves around stability in environment and life, and unfortunately, I can't say this is something we have much of.
Yet the idea of discipline is still relevant in a normal lifestyle. I used to think I was an advocate of 'old school' mentality; the wife cooks, cleans, cares for children, and the husband works to feed and live. My thoughts have changed somewhat. I feel like the man of the house should work hard, make money to feed and live for sure, but I feel that a man's number one priority in the world is to be the revolving core of his family's solar system. Everyone should be able to trust Dad. He will shield them from harm, serve justice all around, and see through lies and deception by creating order and discipline. Please, feel free to replace "Dad" with "Mom", I am all for a dominant woman figure in the household, but my point is there needs to be one. There doesn't even have to be children involved; this can be just two people. But I am a firm believer that there is no family which is an democratic establishment. Everyone can share their voice, but there is a final and absolute ruling on everything. In my case, this is my domain. My final word is indeed the final word. I'm welcome to input and making joint decisions, but in the end, members of my household must exercise discipline in accepting my verdict, as I have come to a decision that will be best for us, weighing logic and stability as the top priorities.
This is rule number one for a healthy, disciplined life with me; My word is final.
A frequent topic of discussion that comes up here is cheating. Cheating is horrible, cheating is wrong. Dangerous, unhealthy, insulting, and ultimately a deal breaker. Many know of my past issues dealing with a stray. It was a painful experience, it ended my world at first. At first. Things are not always what they seem to be. Cheating can be prevalent in any relationship, from one lasting two weeks, to one lasting two decades. It's one of the top causes for divorce. Many people thought I made a train wreck of a choice in forgiving a cheating episode. Alas, I do not make horrible decisions. I took advantage of the situation to rein in my control; to further impose my discipline. I do believe everyone deserves a second chance. But not a third. The second chance itself is an ultimatum; you are either with me under my absolute rule, or you step outside of my personal space forever and never return within. There is no in between, no gray area. Black and white.
She chose the white. She's in. She agreed to absolute devotion, with understanding of no alternative, and no third chance. I feel as though this event gave me the upper hand in establishing my authority as Master; although not living the life day-to-day, it is an extension of our entwined lives, and further demanding of discipline. There is no cheating, no straying. There are no threesomes, there is no swinging. Unless I say so. Fortunately, for my submissive that shows the utmost discipline, I respect her wishes as well and take them into consideration in the "unless I say so" clause. Let's clear one thing up; if I bring a guest home, my submissive will have no choice but to obey. Exemplifying her discipline in maintaining my authority is of vital importance; if I was to invite a guest and command my submissive to entertain my guest in any way I deem proper, so it would be. Acting out of discipline will always result in a consequence, or quite possibly, the grand ultimatum again. As I said, I do respect her wishes, and have not sought for any guests requiring service, but the choice is solely mine, and may change at any point.
This is rule number two. My discretion is the sole authoritative motivator in our lives. I decide our comforts and tolerance as a couple. You will show your discipline in honoring my demands.
Stay tuned for expansion. Discipline goes much further, there are more rules for a healthy, successful and mutually beneficial relationship.
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