Now I am alone, as I am in the company of neither. I am alone with myself and the splintered remains of the pedestal I once stood upon. Cross legged on the wooden floor of the cedar shake house that is shSHaking from the gale force wind outside. Garbage Bin tipped his hat to Senora Brisas… the bits of trash from his guts explode like flocks of birds from trees, here I am in this windowed box with anything lighter than a bullet swirling around it, in a storm. and I AM aware that ALL of this is the manifestation of my confusion upon the tangible world. I have done this here. Also, I am reminded, i have done this within the confines of Us.
And I learned a lesson today that every cartoonist should learn, and it was: thought bubbles look like clouds for a reason. But not all of them are white and fluffy.
Hovering above me today, as slate grey as storm outside, are two. They represent each half of my Gemini self, and I concentrate harder than I ever have before, on keeping them in their respective corners. I have a fear of the lightning bolt that would be born of their comic book ‘POW!’. In my minds eye, that lightning bolt splits me right down the middle, like an old oak.
::whispers in the back of mind say::
‘beware of an oak, it draws the stroke.. Beware of an oak, it draws the stroke’
I pray this hushhhhh, to the nature of the western spring time, to the evil, unfortunate men, that swing their axes and post their signs, hush to the innocent black eyed child that sought only the shade of my bouncing branches, flutter green leaf and helicopter seed canopy.
I do not know how to write you the letter that says goodbye, but this is the letter that says that I know you are gone from me. And as I write this water falls in droplets pure and potable from the biggest thoughts outside, and falls also inside, from the eyes of a woman you used to love, salty enough to float a grown man, if only she could cry a pond.
And I regret that my tears are more qualified than I, to help pull you from the depths..
And I regret…
…I never gave them the chance.