I couldn't have predicted this happening even if you'd warned me.
There couldn't have been a better opportunity, but it still doesn't fit.
If I could change anything, I would make myself open my eyes to finally see.
That at the end of today, it was all a lie.
Too many times you were nothing but cold
And all those times you made me cry.
You put me at fault, acting like I'm some kind of nut.
But baby, I hate to say it, I wasn't sold.
When without a doubt you're nothing but a slut.
There was a point I would have let it go
I would have steeled myself and sucked it up
The best part is, even with all of this mess
It's now like snow on the highway on top of rain
We could have been great together, trying to fly.
But when you started to slide, you didn't fess up.
I realize you couldn't, so now I can't turn a blind eye
No matter the conditions, no matter the weather.
It was never likely, even lying to myself, I knew better.
If I could do one more thing, I would express to you how…
Your twinkling eyes would send chills down my spine.
I would shiver with just the force of that goofy smile
From that first day, I knew you would never be mine.
Even so, If I thought I could walk a thousand miles…
I may have tried, with just a one little sign from you
That all those beautiful words you spoke were true.
I was there, Every time that you came to me,
No matter how long in between.
I swallowed my pride and listened to you,
I hurt for myself, but wanted to cry with the pain
That I could feel radiating from you.
All of the things you said,
All of the complaints you had.
All that bullshit you fed.
I knew these things were real,
But not how you truly feel.
I knew there was something much deeper.
Something throbbing its way free,
Something big, keeping you from me.
Could it be, that girl you think is a keeper?
Yeah, I know you didn't think I'd ever know.
And even now you'd say I was wrong.
I am NOT stupid, I wanted to pretend it wasn't true
But the really sad things is, I knew all along.
Pretending just to have my own time with you.
How could I do that to her? How could I be so blind?
To not see the truth behind those blue eyes?
I realize now you don't even know your own mind.
You talk about her in every single song, it is no act
Even if it's all about who did wrong, and breaking ties.
At the end of the day it comes back to the same fact…
Something keeps you two locked in these lies.
So here we are now, time really flew by, I'm not sure which months went by quicker.
The time leading up to that final day when I finally let go and gave myself away.
Or the how long it took time to convince the both of us that it was okay.
Now I just sit and wonder, did you ever look at me, or always see her?
That is not how I want to think, I wish I could make it disappear
As much as I want it to be so, it's not likely to happen this year.
And as corny as it is, I miss you something fierce.
Take a seat, my love. I know I've said all this before.
I know it's not what you want to hear,
But this time closed and locked that door.
And damn it really hurts, I am truly sorry dear.
You know the one you repeatedly used and abused.
It's practically falling off it's rusted hinges.
When I would tell you this before, you weren't amused.
Your damn mood swings give me whiplash!
But you always came back, time and time again.
All the words you said kept me so bemused.
Here I sit alone tonight, warring an unbearable internal fight.
Thanks to you and all the people you introduced me to.
All the places we went, and all that you do.
I met another man who thinks I'm pretty tight.
Don't act so surprised, you do know what they say…
If you don't want somebody to find it, don't throw it away.
I'm really not sure what you'll think of this
And even I'm still not sure if it's a hit or miss,
All that I know at this time is that it just feels right.
And though I'm not very strong, if it turns into something real,
I just want you to know it wasn't on purpose, so this time can you really listen?
After all this time I want you to finally know how I really feel.
As much as it's irrelevant, I think you coulda been the real deal.
The one night that I got with you, even the best novelist couldn't describe.
You were finally back to the old you, the one that caught me by surprise.
Over a year ago, I think it may have been September?
When I had told myself you'd be just another guy, and I squared my shoulders.
When I put the car in park and looked to my left, I saw you there.
You were relaxed, your hands behind you resting on the hood.
I can still remember the way you looked there, like if I blinked you'd disappear.
All the sudden my vision changed, you weren't that guy up on the stage.
You had a new quality, almost instantly. I think I may been bitten by the love bee.
I remember feeling self conscious as I stepped out into the sun.
But you smiled and my soldiers stance might as well been none.
That day was monumental for me, and you'll never know how big.
I remember I was in a real foul mood, thanks to friends being fools.
You picked up on it right away, and made it your mission to make my day.
I laughed, I cried. I remember we sang your song together, you even blushed a little.
You told me I was the first to hear the new, but I'll never really know if that was true.
I felt like things were moving in fast forward. Me, the coward.
You, playing at carefree. Holding that FFW button down relentlessly.
Before I knew it, things were complicated. I was filled with uncertainty.
I think maybe you were too, but you let me believe it was all on me.
Was that just you taking the opportunity?
I thought I went wrong by fleeing you, being intimidated by this thing.
I thought that made you strong, and you were doing right by me.
Now that I have lived this year, fighting for you and getting nowhere.
I see that it was never me. It was always you, moving mysteriously.
Still, time kept creeping by, and we ended up at that crossroads.
I'm sure it was inevitable, but who ever really knows?
I think I was still mad about something, but it all blurred together.
I was so scared, but still came to support you, like I always tried to do.
And like the time before, and time before that, I fell in love with you.
I can blame it on the lights, the music, and the sweet taste on my tongue.
But while we're finally being honest, it was really only you all along.
Each time we got to be together, time and logistics made it feel futile.
But this night was our night, even with all those people and all those lights.
In my own little perfect world, it might as well been just me and you.
With you so close and tunes so pure, I wasn't thinking anymore, I knew for sure.
If truth be told, I could have danced with you until the earth ceased to rotate.
But even in all of my fantasies, that could never become a reality.
So I settled for lingering in the scent of you until the sky changed hues.
Do I regret those hours spent alone with you? Of course not, who could?
I wasn't sure you were really there, with the light shining through from the partial moon.
And of course the streetlamps, just like where we finally shared our first real kiss.
It may have taken a year, but I can honestly say I'd have waited more than a dozen.
With out a single thought in my mind, I surrendered to you and you were finally mine.
It was so surreal, after such a time. I think it may have grown better, like a fine wine.
All those months, fighting through the fog. You were suddenly there and it wasn't wrong.
All my sense and all the walls I had built, they were gone where they once held strong.
But that's okay, because at least now I can say that I know, what it's like to be with you.
I don't care if I only had you for a few hours, or maybe even if I never had you at all.
I had you there, I had your feather light kisses and your nervous laughter.
I had your scent on my skin, in my hair, and on my clothing.
I burned for you, I yearned for you, and time conceded to stand still while we were in that room.
I will never forget the touch of your skin, so soft and warm.
I will never forget the feel of your lips, so tender and sweet.
I will never forget how fast your heart was beating, or how sharp your breath was flowing.
I will never forget how my body reacted to you, or yours to mine.
I will never forget your taste as I sampled each morsel and hungered for more.
I will never forget how it felt to know, at least for that moment, you truly saw me.
I will never forget how delightful it was to feel you shiver and shudder,
And yes, even your cute little stutter.
I will never forget how easy it was to laugh when I wanted to cry.
There is a time and place for everything, and baby I can tell you one thing…
That time and place will remain burned in my mind for eternity.
That time and place happens to be a little piece of heaven in my own personal hell.
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