Have you ever done something incredibly stupid? Well, I have a few times, and today was one of those times.
I spent the majority of my day at the beach with my mom. I had been eying an adorable Cleveland Browns bikini for a few weeks, and finally got my paycheck and immediately went to buy it before going to the beach. We showed up, lathered ourselves in tanning oil, and relaxed in the sun. I was starting to doze off, feeling the relaxing heat on my body as it soaked up the vitamin D, when my mom nudged me. "If i know my daughter at all i'd say she's gonna think that guy is mighty cute." I opened my eyes lazily, scanning the beach. "Which one?" I asked, not really seeing anyone remarkable. "Red shorts, playing with the little boy." I allowed my eyes to find him, and I had to admit he was very handsome. He was very tan, and though he was far away i could see that he had tattoo's on his sides and his arms. And a very nicely toned upper body. "He's alright, but he's got kids." I closed my eyes again, closing my mind to my surroundings.
After a few more minutes i sat up to oil the backs of my legs, and felt eyes on me. Glancing up, I saw Mr Red Shorts standing in the water with the little boy on his shoulders. He had sunglasses on, but it felt as if he was staring right at me. I stared back for a second, then pulled my eyes away and rolled over onto my stomach. "He's staring at you." Mom remarked quietly, a giggle escaping her. "Oh shut up." I snapped, not believing for one second that somebody that hot would be interested in me, and also mighty suspicious about the women and kids with him.
Soon, the heat was too much to ignore and we went to wade through the water. I was up to my belly button, ignoring the intense glares coming from Mr Red Shorts, grumbling to myself about men and their inability to keep their eyes on their own women, when I noticed him catch the ball thrown at him and took note of the intense muscles flexing across his upper back. In the same instant, his body poised and he turned to me, our eyes locking through our sunglasses. I felt my heart thud in my chest as his arm shot back and he released the ball. It was one of those meant to "skip" across the water and it did 3 little hops before smacking me in my shoulder/chest. It landed in the water behind me, and i turned and stared at it for a second. "I'm sorry, i didn't mean to hit you." I heard him say. I picked up the ball and turned back towards him, there was a great distance between us, and i quickly skipped the ball across the water without saying a word. It skipped twice, before coming to a standstill about halfway between us. "Great." I mumbled. Mom laughed. He smiled, dove under the water, and did a very impressive swim to the ball. I tore my eyes away from his gleaming muslces and quickly turned back towards the beach and started to walk. "Sorry!" i shouted over my shoulder. "That's alright."
Once back at the beach, mom once again nudged me in the ribs. Hard. "He did that on purpose, he's into you!" She giggled, reminding me of a little girl in high school. "Yeah, but i'll pass." He was too hot. Too smooth. Totally not somebody i would waste time on. But, i couldn't stop watching him. He walked the little boy up to the beach, and soon two little girls joined them. Probably ages 3, 2, and maybe 5. I watched from under my sunglasses as he helped them fill buckets with sand and dig a mote, then build a castle. Then he stood. He looked uncertain for a second, and i looked away quickly, not wanting to be obvious i was watching. Out of the corner of my eye i could see him shake off his hands, and then start to walk towards me. My breath caught in my throat and of course, you guessed it, mom again got me in the ribs with her elbow. "He's coming!" she whispered. Like i didn't know.
"Hey." He said. I drew my legs up to my chest and propped myself on my elbows. "Hi." He knelt beside me.
"Would you wanna play vollyball? With a soccer ball?"
I didn't reply, i think my eyes were glued to the tattoo's on his very built chest.
"Or... we could just play soccer?"
"I'm not any better at that than i am at skipping..." I replied.
He laughed, and i couldn't ignore his adorable smile. "I don't care, it'll be fun."
Again, an elbow in the ribs from my mother. "Go on, i'll be alright." she said.
I looked at him again, this time taking in his face. He had light hair, almost blonde, cut short but a little longer on top. He had very nice features, kind of rough but well put together and smooth. I couldn't see his eyes.
"Okay." I said. I stood and we started walking towards the net, a little awkwardly. He was bouncing the ball in his hands, and i pretended to me engrossed with the scenery.
"You seem to be enjoying the sun." He remarked. "Yes, I do every chance i get."
"Me too. I'm here with my sisters." Ahh, sisters, huh?
"That's my mom."
"Really? She looks like an older sister."
Silence. At the net, one of his sisters and another gentlemen were waiting on one side. We took up our positions on the other.
What a torturous experience. If i hadn't noticed by now how fit he was, there was no missing it! I played hell keeping my breasts in my bikini and soon we were all sweating profusely. After two games we let the ball roll away and our opponents stomped off (we won, by the way). Then we just stood, our chests heaving and sweat pouring off our bodies. I'm sure I looked grand (sarcasm). "do you wanna get in the water?" I asked him. "That would be great." he said. He gave me a look, and we both giggled, not sure what to say to each other. I know now that one of us should have asked for the others name, where are you from, etc etc. Hmmm...
We took a quick swim side by side, i refused to go under the water and get my hair wet. I'm not normally picky but with the humidity i knew i would play hell keeping my hair in check if i got it wet. We flirted a little, splashing each other. At one point his arm wrapped around my waste and he pretended like he was going to dunk me, but i playfully batted him away and soon we made our way back up the beach. I noticed my moms boyfriend had joined her, and i was relieved. I was going to have to make my excuses to get back to my mom otherwise. So, We walked from one end of the beach to the other, just walking side by side in companionable silence most of the time. I couldn't ignore his masculinity, what a hunk of MAN! I haven't ever been that near such a virile male before. We talked about animals, his grandma was with him and had a little chihuahua, which started the conversation. Then we talked about animal shelters and animal abuse. I was thrilled! He complimented me on my tattoo, and i did the same for his (many) tats. Then, we were stopped by the little girl. Anna. Anna asked "Uncle Teddy" to help her with her sandcastle. So we knelt there in the sand side by side, and i watched him with the kids. My heart melted. What a wonderful uncle! Sigh. We built a huge castle, which thrilled the many youngsters around. It had a large mote, the thing expanded probably 7 feet in diameter and i think we stole half the lake water to fill it. I watched him hold the youngest boys hand as he walked him around and pointed out different areas of the "castle" and exclaimed his delight. Mr Red Short's sister came by to take pictures, and i walked a few feet away to remain inconspicuous.
This is when i noticed my grandfather walking up from the parking lot with my little cousin (E., age 11), and i walked to meet them. E. asked me to get in the water, and i agreed. Mr Red Shorts stared at me the entire time. I smiled at him, and he smiled back. I watched with great interest as his grandmother called him over, pointing to her chair and looking cranky. He knelt before it, flipped it upside down, and proceeded to fix whatever problem she was having. Then, he picked up the little chihuahua in her pink collar with it's lacy bow, and walked her in the grass to relieve herself. Oh yes, Mr Red Shorts really had my attention then! Did i mention, when he handed her back, he gave her a little rub on her head and then planted a kiss atop her Chi-Chi alien-head? Oh yes, Mr Red Shorts kissed the Chihuahua, on the head!
I made my way back up to the beach, and sat at the picnic table with my grandfather for some chit chat and grub. Soon my mom and her boyfriend joined us, all the while Mr Red Shorts and I played a staring game. My heart skipped a few beats when i saw his family start to gather their belongings, and even more so when Mr Red Shorts knelt to help dress the children. Yes, he dressed the whiny I-Don't-Want-To-Leave children. Dear God. When he disappeared into the changing area, my mom quickly rounded on me. "Did you give him your number?" I didn't answer, staring down at my plate where a half eaten chili-dog lay. "Child... " She admonished. "Mom, leave it alone, alright?" I snapped. I suddenly felt cold. I thought of him. The man i'm in love with. I had just spent hours doing nothing but laughing with a man. A very sexy man. A man very much out of my league (or so i thought). And i hadn't thought of him once.
Mr. Red shorts came out of the changing room. He stopped about 10 feet from me. He was dressed now, wearing a black tshirt and long shorts. His glasses sat on his head and his eyebrows were furrowed. He stood there looking at me expectedly. I didn't move from my place. He raised his hand, using his thumb and pinky finger to make a "phone" and raised it to his side. I didn't move. He then moved his "phone hand" back and forth. And i didn't move. Every part of my body was screaming to GET UP! Get up and go talk to him, get up and get his number, or give him yours. DO SOMETHING. I didn't. His shoulders slumped, yet he stood there. I stared back at him. He turned and walked towards his family, slowly. I watched him. He looked back. I managed a slight shrug of my shoulders in his direction. I felt terrible inside. I couldn't move, no matter how badly i wanted to. I watched him walk away and wanted to run after him. "Do you... want my number or something?" I could imagine myself saying. Did i? No. I watched him leave.
Is it possible to have an experience like this, and not stop thinking about it? Is it possible that i was that stupid? Is it possible that I may see him again?
Anybody else have anything like this happen to them? I just feel regret. Who knows what may have happened. Generally, i do not get hit on. The guys i attract are usually older, not my type, or just plain losers. I don't attract men that have every woman on the beach staring at them. He wasn't a complete tool, he wasn't staring me up and down and trying to get in my pants. Well, okay, he stared a little, but so did I. My first impression of him was wrong, and i still let the chance roll by me.
Thanks to some very wise SF members, I've decided to visit this particular beach again. And more often. I doubt he'll be there, but you never know.
I wrote this fast and wasn't striving for any literary value here, just needed to get it all off my chest. I feel so odd now, just incredibly stupid.
This stuff doesn't happen to me, and apparently now that it has started to (I do have a brand new body) it's apparent i need to school myself, because either i'm an extreme wuss or just remarkably slow witted.
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