As I got older (18+), I began to understand what the feeling was, and whenever I saw a movie with a character bound and gagged, I would watch the scene over and over again (remember this is pre-internet!!), find myself getting more and more turned on, when it got to a point that I would masturbate over the scene whilst it was paused.
Once I got married, I casually brought up the idea of tying each other up to the bed 'to experiment'. This idea was firmly rebuked, although strangely my (now ex) wife did want to see me wearing her stockings and panties (her idea), which again has led to another fetish that I still enjoy to this day. So bondage was a no no, but that didn't stop me masturbating when I was alone at 'bondage' scenes in films, although now it was done wearing panties.
Once the internet became available, it was like a flood gate opening!! All I knew of gags were either cleave gags or my favourite at the time, tape gags. These new things, ball gags were amazing and such a turn on. Suddenly I could view bondage in its true surroundings, but I had to learn quickly how to delete cookies and viewing history. That would have been some tough explaining to do!!
So after x years being married, the marriage fell apart and I ended up alone. So I decided that now that I am on my own, I will look to seriously endulge in my fetish. I know what I would like to happen, that is to be bound and gagged, wearing panties, and spanked. However wanting to endulge and actually endulging are two VERY different things. I couldn't really get a new partner and suddenly say, "You know what......", and then wonder why she has run a mile screaming 'pervert' at the top of her voice!!
Another issue is my job (no I'm not going to disclose what I do), so discretion is a MAJOR issue for me. I certainly wouldn't go to munches where I work or live. So it's coming down to looking at specialist sites designed for people with similar fetishes, but they charge the earth and I have to admit that I am tight!! I am thinking about finding a playmate who will introduce me carefully to bondage. I have come to a decision that I don't mind the playmate being of either sex, preferably female, but CD or TS wouldn't bother me as to me it isn't about sexual intercourse (I've not had intercourse for 3 years - I'm a born again virgin!!), it's about the thrill of being restrained and gagged.
So how will this journey of a 42 year old bondage virgin work out? Who knows? It may even be a case that I don't like it and will have to be prepared to accept that as well. So keep reading to see what happens. After all, everyone has to start somewhere.