Good afternoon, Ma'am. My name is (so and so) and I am a (age) year old submissive from (area). I was intrigued by your (profile/blog/pics) and I was hoping you would have the time to chat sometime. I have been interested in the lifestyle for (number of) years and my experience is (activites/experience/etc). I am interested in trying (insert fetish here). I am interested in serving by (insert what you have to offer here). I hope to speak with you.
The Bad: Hello Mistress (cringe) I am looking for a Mistress to punish and humiliate me, can you help?
The Ugly: Hey BB you're so hot, are you horny? Let's do this.
Um.... "Hey BB let's do this"?
You're kidding, right?
The bad and the pathetic get immediately deleted.
A Domme is not an escort, a phone sex operator, or a webcam girl. I am not your personal wank bank. Questions like "what are you wearing" and "what would you do to me" come off to me as trolling for cybersex and the conversation will immediately be terminated.
If you are looking for a Dominant, have some class, and for the love of all things kinky, have some respect! Didn't your mama teach you any manners? Introduce yourself. Dommes demand respect, and you have a much better chance of getting her attention if you are respectful from the very start. Keep in mind, most Dominant females receive over 100 emails a week. Yours needs to stand out from all the others.
Don't be an asskisser. Yes, I demand respect, but I see a red flag go up when someone offers every bit of their life to someone they have never even met.
State what you have to offer. Most Dommes are looking for more than just another ass to spank. What makes you different than every other email I get? Why should I work with you as my submissive? Being a Domme is hard work, how will you make it worth my while?
Never assume a Dominant is looking unless they actively say so on their profile or blog.
If you are inexperienced or new to the lifestyle, don't expect a busy Domme to hold your hand and teach you everything there is to know. Do some research. Google is your friend. There are some wonderful resources on the internet that can give you a little bit of a window into the lifestyle and enough information to help you sort out what you are really looking for. This is a pretty good starting point, as is this. Know what you want before contacting a Dominant. No one wants to spend hours trying to break you out of your shell just to figure out what your interests are. Research, soul search, and then research some more.
Compliments are nice, harassment is not. "I have to say, the pic of you in the red corset is absolutely stunning" will be much more well received than "Your pics are hot, you have amazing tits and ass, I would love to see more of you." The latter is just plain rude.
Last but not least, join your local bdsm group. Yes, your area has them, you just don't know it because we are discreet. A simple web search will yield surprising results. Most if not all fetish groups are very welcoming to newbies and seasoned kinksters alike. Don't be shy. We are very friendly.
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