I've lived here (this town) almost all my life, with exception to afew years when I moved to be with my ex. Apart from some of my family, I have nothing really keeping me here. My best friend is on the other side of the country, along with my dad, sisters and brother. And my favourite parts of my family are in Tasmania, the little island state just below Victoria, where I live.
The only 'friends' I have here are people I know through going to the football and people from the quiz group I belong to, and one friend on the other side of Melbourne.
The footy people I only see at the footy but since I've had a major falling out with my mum, they are all basically siding with her and never speak to me anymore.
The quix people, while nice, only speak to me at our club events. No one rings up to say "Hey, wanna grab a coffee?" or even checks in to see whats up.
And my mate in Melbourne is always far too busy to talk to me, let alone catch up, I haven't seen him for ages and I hate it!
So why stay here? I can't work, so no job to tie me down. No connections to the community. Apart from my Grandparents, no one in the entire town would even know I was gone.
I keep thinking I should move, but how is the problem! I don't have any money to go anywhere and no means of saving up. But I'm getting desperate. I've been through massive depression before and I can feel myself slipping down that path again. I spoke to a councellor yesterday and she suggested moving...Gee thanks! I knew that already!
So here I sit, blogging from the room I leave very little because there's nothing outside to do, talking to people a million miles away who may or may not care. But thats my problem, the nicest people I know, the people I call my friends, are so far away. And I need that kind of connection IRL. Sure a boyfriend and sex would be awesome, but more than anything, I just want some friends, people to hang out with. I'm missing the human connection badlyI honestly feel like no one cares, that I wouldn't be missed.
I just dunno what to do.......
Sorry, I just really needed to get it off my chest