It has taken me to me to be almost 60 to really understand what that really means. Like most guys I spent the early part of my life focused on my erect penis and getting to orgasm however and whenever I could. The desire to build up sexual tension to the point of squirming anguish with the reward of releasing it in an explosive ejaculation was the goal and driving motivation.
Visual incentives were always the inspiration. Magazine images of dolled up artificial looking women were the first enticement to make my cock hard so I could tug on it furiously until I spewed. But then I discovered the aloneness and hollowness of bringing myself to a climax while the vacuous eyes of a glossy image stared into space from the floor between my feet, not to me.
Then when I had been with J for a while and we got our sexual radar set up I applied that same furious race to orgasm to both myself and her. Yes there was foreplay and oral sex and all that other stuff but the goal was to fuck and cum inside her. And sure it felt great and yes she was sexy but there was a urgency to it that left me hollow. Yes there was that pre orgasmic ecstasy that I felt as my climax was imminent and the bliss of shooting a thick stream of hot cum in her and there was the relaxing relief that followed, but all that happened in less than a minute and then it was gone.
As I got older I got wiser. I became more knowledgeable about my own body, my sexual response, and my sexual mind. More importantly though I became more knowledgeable about her sex organs and their link to her feminine mind which then allowed me to unravel the mystery of her sexual response.
For me the key to it all was learning to still my mind and gain control over my sex organs. The journey started with looking at fucking and orgasm not thru my own eyes but through the eyes of a warmly sexual woman , my J. Not only did that aid me in helping her to experience deeper and more intense orgasms but it helped me be more critical of my own sexual etiquette and attitudes; attitudes that drove me to previously grind my pelvis into her pussy, drilling her mercilessly with my stone hard and desperate cock until I regurgitated cum in her. Once I learned to control my need for ejaculation and savor my experience of orgasm I was able to shift my understanding of sex from being a 20 second desperate paroxysm to something much more spiritually moving, deeply meaningful and intensely intoxicating.
So what is sexual satisfaction to me now?
It is the experience of slowly launching into a two hour intense series of orgasmic waves in which my anus and rectum stiffen and shudder as my prostate pulses deep inside me. The resulting pleasure triggers convulsive spasms that travel down to my cock pulling and tugging at it, creating immobilizing spasms of pleasure with each squeeze.
On other nights sexual satisfaction is the reassuring feeling of J’s legs wrapped around my ass as I lay on top of her with my turgid penis forcing her pussy lips to open and swallow the length of me as I probe the depths of her femininity, savoring the warm wet caress of her loving vagina. Laying there stock still I can feel the life force in her and the rhythmic pulse of her heart. At a time like that her love for me is not a written sentiment or a look, it is a palpable experience that she shares with me. The love she has for me makes her crave having me inside her. As I lay there I am humbled by her desire to have me inside her. It is such an intimate act to take another person inside of your body.
My swollen and sensitive cock head is so deep in her that I am in her very feminine core. The heat of her sexuality coats the skin of my cock but it also soaks into me and heats my sex glands to the boiling point, urging them to slake her thirst her with my sweet warm liquid. But her sexual heat is complex. While it coaxes my penis to spew my creamy lust in her, it also stirs me to kiss her and savor her and stave off the reward of orgasm until my mental state is satisfied.
Laying in her crotch with my penis relishing the sexual heat of her sodden vagina and kissing her passionately is transcendental. It is both intoxicating and spiritually elevating. The connection of our lips and tongues simultaneous to the joining of her hungry vagina and my anxious cock, transports me to a warm erotic and hazy place where all sensation is lost except for the sweet tether of my penis anchored deep inside her.
The experience of cumming has even been transformed for me. The act of releasing my cum in her is no longer just the achievement of the physical reward of relief of my own sexual tension. It has become fluid bonding. Fucking and cumming has become making love and mixing my own life liquid with her own. The injection of a stream of my hot cum combining with her own in the depths of her vagina while her orgasm swirls them together convulsively into a warm sexual cocktail is very satisfying and moving for both of us. The hot cauldron of her vagina holds our intermingled liquids in a pool that satisfies her thirst and my desire. The wet heat of her vagina offers a divine place to savor the joy our love and nurtures its warmth at the same time.
But if I have learned anything about sexual satisfaction it that it need not always culminate in orgasm. Just this morning I was lying in bed awake with J’s head on my shoulder and my arm around her as she lay there quietly breathing cuddled against me; the emotion was overwhelming. My cock was stone hard and dripping my need for her but it was offset by the deeply satisfying peace that seized my mind as my hand felt the warmth of her skin and the weight of her leaning against me. The tension of my sexuality and the blissful calm of my unbridled love had found a contented meeting spot. I laid there in sweet détente. The fire of my passion burned pleasantly in my crotch, hardening my penis in recognition of her presence but not so much as I needed relief. While at the the same time the radiant heat of her femininity and the softness of her calmed me and made my heart beat in relaxed peace.
I turned my head down and buried my nose in the lush scent of her hair and kissed the top of her head. She stirred and moaned. Then sleepily she reached up to me and kissed my neck.
I think I discovered true Sexual Satisfaction this morning.
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