I have said many times in this blog that I have never strayed or cheated on J. That is largely true with regard to civilians, but I did engage the services of a professional. In fact I did it twice with the same woman. Now before you chastise me and ask how and why I would do such a thing ... let me explain.
As some of you know, my sexual discovery venture began 16 years ago at a women's sexuality workshop in California. I won't rehash the story; it’s in the archives of this blog if you want to read it. Suffice to say that the experience with the workshop and the services of that professional set me on a solid course and changed my entire experience of sex. Moreover both experiences changed my understanding of sex with a woman both in her head and in her vagina and on all the erogenous spots on her body. The workshop was the start of the journey taken on as an extracurricular weekend activity during a business trip. It was an afterthought, but it turned into a major turning point in my life. The work with the professional was invaluable experience that put everything I learned into a context of reality.
On the flight home from California my mind was spinning with the things I learned and the descriptions of the wonderfully complex yet simple equipment between a woman's thighs and its direct connection to that place between her ears that most guys find to be mysterious and incomprehensible. Cruising at 32,000 feet over Indiana my head was spinning with images of clits, mouths of vaginas, nipples and g spots; moreover, how what I was doing "down there" was being perceived "up there". I decided as we made the approach to Logan Airport that I needed help in unraveling this newfound knowledge that had been dumped on me. But how? More importantly I thought, from whom? At 44 my male ego was still so vulnerable that I felt I couldn't look like an idiot in front of J. Pride is an awful thing.
Over the weeks following my return, I said nothing of my workshop experience to J but it was always on my mind. Two months after the California trip I happened to be in Philadelphia at a meeting with a group of peers. One night over drinks during this conference the conversation turned to massage parlors across the Northeast and ratings of which ones were actually qualified as the best ones based on the criteria as having the most liberal women providing the sexiest services. From the small group of commentators at the bar that night a half dozen massage parlors were identified as places to visit. One of them mentioned was in Wilkes Barre Pa, a reasonable drive from Philadelphia where the conference was for the next two days. I made the decision that that was where I would go to get my guidance. The thought of using a professional was a hard one to to feel good about, but it most certainly was more palatable than cheating on her I thought. The argument is debatable I suspect. In retrospect, when I think about it now, I shouldv'e worked it through with J and we would have gone through the discovery together on her girly bits. But, as I said earlier male pride is an awful thing.
Keep in mind that this was no easy decision for me. My only experience with another woman was when I was 19 and that was really minimal to say the least, and that was 25 years earlier at the time. The only women I had even seen naked in person were in 4 or 5 strip bars that I had been in the previous 25 years. For all intents and purposes I had never been intimately involved with another woman other than J. But I decided that night as I left the bar that the next day I would skip the conference activities the next day and get some erotic guidance from a person with the right equipment.
The next day I went through morning sessions at the conference with half attention to the speakers. At 11AM I bailed from the conference and went upstairs to the hotel to take another shower and prepare for the trip north. The relatively short drive to Wilkes Barre seemed to take forever . . . my heart was racing the entire trip. I was more nervous than I was the first time J and I made love. There was a heavy dose of guilt that accompanied the excitement that was saturating my body.
I found the parlor with minimal trouble. Pulling up to the front door I shut off my car engine and sat there contemplating what awaited me inside. With a deep breath and my heart pounding in my chest I opened my door and walked in. What was inside was far from the skeezy place that I envisioned. It was clean, coffee and tea and juice were in a kitchenette in the waiting area. It looked like a combination of a gym and an upscale doctors waiting area. A very attractive young woman was at receptionists desk; she greeted me with a smile and a warm welcome.
I gave her my name which she wrote down in a registry book on the desk. I told her that I was there for a massage and asked about fees and services. She cheerily responded that I could get a complete rundown from the masseuse when she brought me to the room. She directed me to take a seat in the sunny and well appointed waiting area. I took a deep breath and sat on a commodious couch. A little while later a very very attractive young woman with reddish brown long hair entered the room from the same door I came through. She was wearing a jogging suit and was sipping water from a bottle as she jauntily bounced into the room. She greeted the receptionist with a light and airy hi and went through a doorway behind the receptionists desk.
I sat for a several more minutes wondering what was awaiting me in this surprisingly upscale place. My reverie was broken when that same girl whom had come enthusiastically through the front door moments earlier came bouncing to stand just in front of me and greet me by my first name. I looked up at her face to see a bright cheery smile on a beautiful face. Her eyes were blue and clear with a sparkle that whispered of a mischievous and sexy spirit. My breath caught in my chest. My startled response was reinforced by the fact that she had shed her sweatshirt and was sporting a "wife beater" tee shirt which clung to a pair of well formed breasts; there was no secret in their appearance, the thin T shirt material defined every curve and the rigid points of her nipples. My cock warmed and stiffened in my pants and reminded me of what I was here for as I looked from her full chest into her sparkling eyes.
“Come with me” she cheerily said as she turned and beckoned me with her hand. I stood up and followed her trying to not be obvious as I watched her tight rear end switching in front of me as I followed her down a hallway to a door at the end of the passageway.
My mind was racing. This was a stunningly beautiful girl, I clearly hadn’t expected someone that looked like her. She couldn't be more than 25. All of a sudden I felt exceedingly old.
We went into a dimly light room that was immaculate and somewhat sparsely furnished, it was dominated by a massage table which was centered in the middle of the room; there were two chairs at the far side of the room and a mirrored wall with a table that held oils and creams between them. A bookcase with towels and assorted powders was against the wall at the head end of the massage table.
She directed me to sit on the table and she sat on one of the chairs. She crossed her legs and began to engage in some small talk, obviously trying to establish me as a return customer. I leveled with her about my somewhat limited experience with other women and my recent participation in the workshop in San Francisco. I admitted that the reason for my being there was less having her provide services for me and more that I needed to get some experience on real girly bits and get honest feedback from a woman as I applied some of what I learned in the workshop
I told her that I was obviously interested in doing whatever it took to get her off and have her give me guidance and a description of what she felt and on what I was doing. I added that this would obviously include penetration with fingers but I assured her that that was the only penetration that I would expect. I asked her if she was comfortable doing this for me. She grinned broadly and giggled saying that this was clearly a first time for her that any client had made such a request, but she said that it sounded like a hoot. She added that it didn’t hurt that she had gone a couple of weeks with no sex and that she was relatively horny, a situation that would clearly benefit my intention.
In further small talk she indicated that she was a student at a nearby college and that she was doing this to pay her way thru school. She laughed and said that she considered it a scholarship, but just hoped that none of the faculty members from the college never came in otherwise she might get busted. It than hit me that she probably wasn’t even 25.
We continued some small talk in which I elaborated on some of the things that I was struggling to understand about female sexuality despite having been married for 22 years at that point. As we talked I realized that this was the first time in my life that I had ever talked to a woman about my sexuality. We talked about deeply erotic issues, I talked about detailed orgasmic responses to stimulation and various sex acts. I discovered it was easy to talk to a stranger about sexy things, I had nothing to loose. The fact that she was stunning was irrelevant. Except that I was getting extremely aroused as I shared my inner most erotic thoughts with her. The arousal that had begun to bloom in my crotch in the waiting area as I viewed her beautiful body and face rededicated its ferocity as my cock hardened and lengthened behind the protection of the closed doors. I was less self conscious in the privacy of the room and I actually hoped that she noticed the lump growing in my pants.
We discussed the price for what I requested and we agreed on a fee for an hour of her time. It would involve mutual masturbation with her totally naked and digital penetration by me. She told me the price in a very matter of fact manner and smiled at the end. I took out my wallet and counted the bills out, laying them on the table next to me; I added another 100 dollars to the pile, looked over to her and said that that was for her for extracurricular services. She raised her eyebrows, and looked up at me with another quiet giggle and a wink.
She smiled as she got up, picked up the cash and headed towards the door. Turning back to me before she exited the door with the bills in hand she suggested that I remove my clothes and lay on the table, she would be back in a minute.
The door quietly closed behind her. In the quiet, calm understated character of that room, sexy thoughts filled my head. I suddenly became acutely aware of the erotic ambience and intent of the space I stood in. The lighting was soft and ethereal, there was soft new age music being piped into speakers in the ceiling and the candle burning on the table filled the room with the light scent of lavender or some similar flower. This was an extremely erotic setting intended to relax its visitors, but in spite of its intent, the thought of her being here with me was having just the opposite impact on me.
I was aroused, excited, guilty and remorseful all at the same time. I made myself a promise that there was no fucking involved and that this was very much a learning experience despite that fact that it was incredibly erotic. Its wrongness made it all the more exciting regardless of how much I tried to rationalize was I was about to do.
My heart was pounding in my chest and I was suddenly aware of the blood rushing in my ears. I realized that my hands were trembling just slightly as I unbuttoned my shirt and removed it. I sighed deeply trying to gain my composure as the reality of the moment was setting in. Unbuckling and unzipping my pants I stepped out of them and laid them on the chair with my shirt. Taking a deep breath I slid out of my underpants and looked in the mirror opposite of the table. There in the mirror was my naked body in a strange room. Even more daunting was the fact that in a few moments this attractive young woman who was approximately half my age would be returning to the room and we would be there together naked sharing extremely intense and deep intimacies. I had never been naked before any woman other than J, and certainly with no one that I would consider a girl.
I hoisted myself onto the table and sat there waiting. Soon there was a light tapping at the door as it cracked open and she popped her head in and said softly … “coming in”. She then slid her body in the door and gently closed it and locked it behind her.
She glided into the room effortlessly and scanned my nude body smoothly as she moved across the floor, slowing her glance for only a second at the rigid member that was pointing upwards in my lap. She was so smooth and efficient in her gaze and expression that it all seemed so matter of fact to her … and I suppose that it was.
As I sat there she slid off her t shirt to reveal her very voluptuous breasts, they were even more gloriously beautiful exposed that they were hiding in the flimsy cotton of the shirt that covered them moments earlier. With equally aplomb she stepped out of her pants to reveal a light blue thong. To this day I have the memory of her standing there in that moment in almost total nudity with only that thong on. It was so delicate and so sweet and so incredibly innocent and intimate.
I realized then the pure eroticism of a woman standing in front of a man wearing only the flimsiest of lingerie. It was erotically provocative and sweetly innocent at the same time.
I do not know from where my honest and open response came from but without warning I commented to her that she looked incredibly sexy in her panties and that even if nothing else happened from this moment on, it was worth the drive that I made, She smiled coyly and instead of removing her thong she proceeded to pose for me wearing it. She pulled her thong up into her vagina until she wedged the fabric in her cleft, then she bent over from behind to give me a view of her asshole and the string of the thong stretched across her pink anus. She brazenly displayed the base of her vulva, while she cupped her breasts in her hands and looked seductively back at me. She pursued her lips in an air kiss and leaned away from me thrusting her rear at me. Her seduction was having the desired effect. I was dripping a stream of precum.
In a fluid motion as she was facing away from me she slipped a thumb in the waistband of the skimpy panties and slid them down, exposing her beautiful tush to me. The skin on her rear was flawless like fine china, I had never seen human skin so prefect and soft. As I stepped of the table I patted her cheeks gently and left my hand to linger on the soft skin. I had not felt anything so soft and luxurious since I hand handled my own babies. On her however the soft skin was so erotic and tender I was almost breathless.
She laid on her back on the table, a posture that had the effect of thrusting her vulva upwards. She had a very prominent pubic bone and a very fleshy mons. The net effect was that her vulva looked like a ripe fruit that had split in its ripeness to reveal the sweet pink juicy flesh under the skin. She had clipped her pubic hair to a close mat but did not shave it. All in all it was the most voluptuous vagina I had ever seen in photos or in my limited visual experience.
She instructed me which oils to take from the table and she guided me how much to drizzle on her body and how much to put on my hands. It was warmed to body temperature in a warm water bath.
The first contact of my oiled hand on her oiled skin was so absolutely erotic I swear I could’ve cum at that moment if I had allowed myself to. I asked questions of her as I massaged her legs feet, thighs and breasts, being careful to avoid her vulva and the treasure in its midline that was growing more prominent as I rubbed her luxurious body. My hands literal glided over her soft skin like it was oiled silk. The only roughness on her was her two nipples which were crinkling and erecting from my ministration. She instructed me on how to stroke her abdomen just above her mons, and around the base of her breasts and up the flanks of her breasts.
As I gently massaged her young firm mammary glands I had sweet reminiscing memories of doing the same for J during her pregnancies. J was probably a little older than this girl was at the time and her breasts weren’t as full and firm as the ones under my hands at the moment. None the less a sweet intimate memory washed over me. As I was remembering the time of massaging aching breasts I was startled to return to the moment as I felt a hand on my penis teasing my opening and spreading my precum all around my cockhead. This beautiful girl may have been young but she certainly knew the mesmerizing power of the hot spots on a cock. I laughed nervously and remarked that a little more of that I I would be spewing on the floor.
She giggled and directed me to part her pussy lips and instructed me just how to tease her inner lips. My hands were well oiled but she was supplementing my lubricant with her own. She was clearly getting into the moment as the mouth of her vagina was parting to reveal its warm pink inner flesh. She was oozing glistening girl juice, it was warm and slick just as the oil on my hands was. She then guided me in the massage of her vulva and the squeezing and rubbing of the mouth of her vagina. The warmth of my hand expressed the juice from her pussy opening and coated my hands.
Her instructional voice was still clear but it was getting breathier and airier and it was coming in measured bursts. She then told me to gently tease the opening just inside her opening with one finger; she held my hand in certain spots and told me just how to stroke her in those spots and just how firmly to touch her.
I teased and tickled her opening for what seemed like an eternity. I wasn’t sure if what I was doing was right but then as I looked up at her face I was assured in an instant that it was going well even if she said nothing. Her eyes were closed and her lips were pursed, she was deeply engrossed in the sensations that tingled around her opening. The opening of her vagina was darkening and swelling.
Ok she instructed me in a voice that came as a husky whisper: “put your fingers inside of me and stroke the roof of my vagina firmly but gently and I will tell you what to do next.”
I slid my middle finger into the heat of her pussy. It was hot; I had never experienced any part of any human anatomy, male or female that was as hot as the interior of her pussy at that moment. My finger slid in effortlessly and was instantly coated in her natural pussy lube. As I stroked her she ever so imperceptibly rose and fell on my finger as a stroked the soft velvety wetness inside her. I never felt her G Spot but she most certainly was enjoying the internal pressure and massage. In a gasp - like comment she told me to encircle her clit but don’t touch it. She guided my hand to the 2 and 4 o’clock positions directly adjacent to her clit and showed me how to stroke her with her hand on my hand.
Her chest was heaving and her pelvis was rocking and she seemed to be deliberately forestalling her inevitable orgasm to ride the sweet tension of the moments building up to her orgasm. She guided me when to stop and when to start the clitoral area massage, but she still wouldn’t let me touch her clit. My middle finger was still stroking the canal and opening of her vagina. The clear slippery coating that had collected at the mouth of her pussy had transitioned to a drooling stream of milky pearlescent honey that was dribbling down the base of her vagina.
I was fascinated to watch the changes that were occurring in her pussy as her arousal elevated to the verge of anguished orgasm. Her chest was heaving and she was getting nearer and nearer to erotic rapture.
With nothing more than a gasp she said: “ok now”, she grasped my finger and led it to the glans of her clit, guiding my trembling finger up the ridge on the underside of her glans to its tip. She held my finger on the tip of her glans and told me to make ever so delicate little circles. As my other finger stroked her canal, I teased her clit until she urged me to do it harder. I felt the orgasm start deep inside her vagina before she made a sound. Her pussy muscles clamped down on my finger and she began to convulse and spasm on my finger. She groaned : “put two fingers in me and don’t stop”. I obliged and continued to stroke her. She grasped my wrist and thrust my two fingers in and out of her pussy as Iif I was a dildo.
She rode one orgasm into another into another over the course of that hour. With each crescendo and each transition she told me exactly what to do and she held my hands in exactly in the spot to make her quake and explode. She rode my hand like it was a pommel on a saddle and she was riding a bucking bronco. She held me for dear life.
It could have been described as being clinical and it was to a degree. I was there to have her tell me and instruct me. I learned more about female orgasmic anatomy and response that day than I ever thought possible. I brought a beautiful girl to orgasm three times and witnessed my first unreserved free and unapologetic female orgasm that day. J would later learn to open up, but it was that instruction that I got that day that allowed me to know what to do to make J open up.
As a thank you she did indeed stroke me to hurl a thick rope of my cum into her opened palm. That was my only request of her. I still find it so sexy to watch my cum spurting into J’s open palm to this day as she collects it in a warm pool in her upturned hand.
I repeated my visit to that sweet girl one other time a few months later. The second time I was a lot more assured than the first. We were on a first name basis that second time. Believe it or not I didn’t cum the second time. I used my arousal to go back to my hotel room and work myself into a feeble attempt at an mmo. My reasoning was that if I was really aroused I would be able to do it. Unfortunately though I wasn’t skilled enough. Being so aroused all I did was cum really hard.
It would take at least another 12 years before I really gained enough control to with hold ejaculation.
But I think back on those two visits and the unashamed guidance that that sweet girl gave me on her own body. When I parted the second time, I asked her if I could hug her in thanks as I knew that I would not come back again. My mission had been served.
That naked hug was so intensely intimate, the warmth of her ripe young body against me stirred the male lust in me. At that moment when our skin and genitals touched it was all I could do to keep from begging her to let me fuck her there on the massage table. Based on the warmth of the hug I got in response, I almost think she would‘ve urged me to do her.
But I didn’t. Cause underneath it all I was still Tenyn …. Even then.
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