Well SF, call me crazy, but I'm giving up. I'm better off alone and I'm done fighting that fact. I can't have sex for fear of the possible consequences, and that's even if I could find a girl that finds me attractive, which I haven't. So I'm just going to focus on finding some way to enjoy being alone for the rest of my life. Maybe I'll be that reclusive old guy down the road one day, if I love that long. I don't really know yet.