Yeah. True story. My sister and I get together and watch Mommie Dearest every year at Mother's Day and laugh about all the psychological scars we got from our own mommie dearest. Tragedy + time = comedy, after all. It's hardly the camp comedy classic people make it out to be, but it's a great film, and a very realistic look at what it's like growing up with a psycho for a mother. I'd know.
A lot of memories tend to come back to me on Mother's Day. Like the time she forced me to dance with her one mother's day for an hour strait when I needed to go to the bathroom. Mom ended up yelling at me for ruining her dress when I couldn't hold it in any longer. I was about five. The time she told my sister that she was going to kick her boyfriend's ass that she tossed off as idle threats before she saw her sitting in a car outside of his house one day. A part of me finds these stories somewhat amusing in hindsight. Otherwise, I'd probably have PTSD or something. Hell, I probably have at least a little of that.
Now she's medicated, gone through therapy and is actually a pretty cool person to hang out with and is very remorseful for how she was when we were growing up, but growing up, she was a holy terror.
But this year, it's awkward for a completely different reason. Like I said, she's mellowed in her old age. She's still crazy, but she's not "threat to herself and others" crazy. She's more "owns three cats and makes comments about wanting to 'bang' Sofia Vergara or Zooey Deschanel."
And that there, is why this mother's day is awkward. Because I know that now. My mom's a lesbian. She came out to me at our family's Easter dinner. My father knew before I was born, my sister's known for at least a year, and I was the last to know. Her daughter in a lesbian relationship was the last person she told. That kind of pisses me off. But it is what it is. Her relationship with me has always been difficult. We were always very close, even if I didn't want to be. But we never really volunteered information to each other. For example, I was never certain of how to spell her maiden name until a couple years ago.
But I feel that now that we have something in common, we're getting along a lot better. Knowing that she's a lesbian sort of puts certain parts of her behavior into a different perspective. She's a lesbian, she's mentally ill, and she comes from a very religious southern baptist family. So maybe some of her mental illness was made worse through her own hatred for what she is, before she came to terms with it. There's also the possibility that having children was a way for her to hide her homosexuality, which means that there's a chance that I was created by her to essentially be her "beard." Which is a bit disturbing to me.
I really don't know what the point of this is. I just felt like sitting down and putting down my thoughts today, because it's Mother's Day, I have a lunatic for a mother and she just came out of the closet. I'd probably ramble longer, but I gotta head out for the Mommie Dearest screening at my sister's house.
Don't fuck with me, fellas. This ain't my first rodeo.
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