Posted by pussy_lickn_man , Mon Jul 23, 2012 06:44 PM
I’m not used to writing about things that have happened to me this is my first attempt. Not long ago I was invited to a Christmas party out of town at a very good friend of mine’s home. My friend wanted me to stay at her house, but I knew if I did we would eventually sleep together and it would more than likely end our friendship. I want to keep her as a friend and not a fuck buddy, girl friend or any of those types of relationships. Past experiences have taught me not to go down that road unless that is what I want and in this case that is not what I want. I want her as a friend. Don’t get me wrong she is a great looking woman, long legs great ass, beautiful smile, very quick witted she has a lot of things I like. She would possible fuck my brains out, which is not a bad thing! Let just say it was not going to happen.
I rented a room at a hotel not far from her home and once I was checked in I gave her a call to let her know I was in town. Right away she said she was coming over to pick me up so I would not need to drive back drunk she explained how she had designated drivers for everyone, how thoughtful right. Next thing I know she is knocking at my hotel room door and off we go to her home or so I thought. No she has errands to do last minutes things to pick up… Crap I’m stuck doing one of my most dreaded things in life shopping. Okay it is not really that bad I get to look at her great ass as she walks down the isle I’m starting to reconsider fucking her tonight. Stop that she is your friend remember. Sorry a hard dick has no conscience.
Finally we make it to her house and unpack the shit she just had to have or the party would be a total disaster. Let the partying begin and let me tell you it was a GREAT party! Somewhere around four in the morning my DD drove me back to the hotel with someone I had met at the party not sure of her name now I know she told me but I don’t usually remember one night stand names. And in this case I was way too fuck the hell up to remember my own name.
I know we fucked because I found rubbers all over the place the next morning, but I really don’t remember. Note to self next party no doing shot of Tequila from between breast unless it is in your own hotel room and the tits are perfect and you’re going to be fucking in less than half a bottle of Patron. Oh I do remember her name! Josie…
Anyway somewhere around 8 or 9 I felt this rumbling going on in my stomach, and I keep thinking if I fart I’ll shit myself and Josie will tell all of my friends that she knows. I get up to use the toilet and I sit on the pot thinking please let me shit and get back to bed. Just as I feel I’m going to release the Kracken from my ass I rip a very loud fart and the smell is so bad I start feel the contents of my stomach come up my throat I jump up look at the sink, no I’ll have to clean that crap up to brush my teeth. The trash can… where the fuck is the trash can I can’t find the fucking trash can are you kidding me! So I had to do the one thing I know is going to be the death of me… Yes I have to throw up in the toilet oh you remember the place I just farted so bad that the paint is peeling off the walls and I now have to stick my head down there! Too late you have to do something down on my knees I go head to the porcelain god I pray.
Looking back on this little bit of my life I can honestly say I farted so bad I made myself puke…