Three years passed and I was pregnant once again. For my birthday I got a Kindle. I was psyched. But with the kindle comes the ability to read anything without anyone knowing. Anything. I started reading gay erotica. If one hot guy is hawt, do you KNOW how hawt TWO hot guys are TOGETHER?? Clearly you do not. (OK, maybe you do). I may not have been depressed but my sexual hormones had been awakened by pregnancy. And I wanted some action.
Not only was I horny, I now had some bizarre fetishes. I'll start with the normal one- spanking, wrestling, being dominated. That sort of thing, Now the weird. Being choked out. Never tried it before. It just seems like the ultimate form of domination. And the thought of "waking up to Prince Charming" sounds absolutely dreamy to me. I always had a thing about being rescued. I imagined pretending to be knocked out just a little longer so that he would get concerned for me. Now the weirder: Needles. Like shots. Medical role play. Now the really weird. Being held under water. Yup. Dunking until I struggle. I never did find someone to do that to me. It's a unique fetish. There is a large black man who is into it in Philidelphia. (Or was it Pittsburg?) He had these pictures of him playing with gorgeous women. He was very secretive though. I always kind of wondered if he was an NFL player. I had no reason to think that. It was just a suspicion I had.
I went to ALT.com and made a profile. I learned quite a bit about fetishes and BDSM there. There was a song that struck a chord with me at the time. It was Katy Perry and Kanye West's "E.T." about alien sex. ("kiss me. Infect me with your love and fill me with your poison.") the fetish world meant fun sex with all types of scenarios! Why not alien sex? Another one was Rihanna's S&M. "Sticks and stones May break my bones but chains and whips excite me."
I met Rick on ALT. (I'm using real names. Isn't that awful? Lol.) he was an X-cop from L.A. He had a really minor role in a movie, which meant he had an IMDB profile and his picture there was very handsome. He wanted to wrestle me down and handcuff me. And he agreed to choke me out, even though its not his thing. I was sold. We met at a coffee shop. He was blown away with me. I could see it in his eyes. It sounds vain but I'm just reporting how it happened. He said I'm even prettier than my pictures. I thought he wasn't quite as handsome as his picture but we had grown quite close in our emails and I like him a lot. One phrase kept going through my head though: "Ever heard of 'Just for Men'"? Just like the Viagra line and the line about my husband being my rock in the last NSA meeting. Why do lines repeatedly go through my head during these times? I don't know. As we sat across from each other I kept imagining how easy it is to comb through your hair. Like in the commercials. Rick was my first man older than me (42) so that was why it was jarring to me. Eventually I came to love that salt and pepper look on him.
This next part was absolutely hilarious in retrospect. He had bought me this sweet, bubbly, juice concoction. (My pick). As I sipped it I suddenly got violently ill. I covered my mouth with my hands in an attempt to keep the stomach contents in. He asked me what's wrong. I couldn't talk but I had this desperate, panicked look in my eyes so he knew. "You feel sick. Why?" Me: No answer. "Are you nervous?" I shake my head. Then I finally manage to squeek out, "I can't tell you or you won't choke me out." lol. He guessed, "You have acid reflux?" I shook my head no and then finally admitted, "I'm pregnant." He said, "Yeaaaaah. We shouldn't do that." Then he asked me if I wanted to go to the bathroom because I still looked really bad. I nodded and stood up, desperately looking around. Thank goodness he knew where the bathroom was and told me. I wouldn't have made it otherwise. I actually threw up before getting into the bathroom but managed to hold it in my mouth until I reached the toilet. Oh the things we mothers do for our babies.
So I get back to the table, embarrased of the small stain on my blouse; but Rick doesn't seem to care and we had a really good time. We made plans to meet at a hotel near my house and he would bring the handcuffs! Yippee!
... I'm so embarrased to walk in the hotel. Afraid that when Rick checks out, the workers at the front desk will know he just fucked me. Or worse, I'll know them. First I avoid eye contact but then decide that that looks suspicious so I look them in the eye and give a bright smile. Upstairs he meets me in the hallway and we give each other a big hug and kiss. He ushers me into the room and we try to act casual even though you alway feels a little nervous when you're about to have sex with someone for the first time. I slowly take off my boots. He takes out two pairs of steel handcuffs. Just writing that turns me on. God I miss those handcuffs. We joke about what we would have to do if he cuffed me and had no key.
I'm wearing a black silky bodysuit and thigh high nylons. He has a panty hose fetish so that drives him crazy. We hop into bed and do some kissing and exploring of each other's bodies. There is nothing like being physically close to a man. The skin to skin contact. The warmth. The subtle strength lying dormant. But enough of the touching. It was time to play.
We were both excited to start. I mounted him, held down his arms and wrapped his legs in mine. Go! First he lifted his arms. Pushing mine off. Then tossed me to the side. I immediately got to my knees and faced him. We struggled for a long time. I did a fair amount of giggling and squeeling. This is my favorite thing ever. When he brings the first pair of cuffs to the bed I throw them off. "Oh, so that's how it's going to be!" he exclaims. Finally though, he has got me pinned face down. As I struggle I only scoot myself further and further off the bed. My face digging into the sheets. My makeup coming off. This was no joke. I was going to fight for real. He grabs me by the legs and pulls me back to the center. Finally, I am completely exhausted. I don't move. I can't move. I am completely submitted to him. He cuffs my feet together. Click-click-cllick-click. And my hands. The way he twisted my arms into place turned me on. It sounds dumb but it just seems manly that you can whip a persons arms backwards without breaking them. He flips me over and looks at me with victory on his face. Lying on the cuffs digs the metal into my wrists. It hurts so bad. But it's worth it to be at his mercy.
My thigh-high nylons were dragged off of me in the struggle. All he has to do is unsnap the crotch. Which he does. He puts on a condom and penetrates me. Oh it feels so good. This moment we've anticipated for so long. He leans down and kisses me passionately. He thrusts long and hard. He flips me over. A wonderful respite from the wrist pain. He enters me from behind (still vaginally) and pounds me hard. I'm still recovering from the fight so I can do little more than lay there with my head turned to the side, whisps of hair in my face. All I can do is moan and tell Rick how much I like it and beg him to not stop. He doesn't. We enjoy each other for quite some time.
Finally, he too is exhausted. He gently frees me from the cuffs, asking me if I was OK, gingerly touching my wrists and ankles. I appreciated the care he took. Then I lay on his chest and we rest. At one point he closes his eyes and I just stare at his face. I'm smitten.
He didn't cum this time. I noticed it but didn't bring it up. I would never want to embarrass a man like that. I was surprised when later he brought it up himself. "Did you notice I didn't cum last week," he said. "Yeah... Why?" "I don't know." he said. And that was the end of it. It was never brought up again. I'm not sure but I think in the half dozen times we met he only came once or so. And the strange thing is, in his emails he always said things like, "I'm going to fuck you in the ass so hard." Why would you say that if you know that the next time we have sex you won't be able to get it hard enough to even enter my anus? It confounds me.
So here we have, readers, two men in a row who've slept with who couldn't cum. Different situations. Why? Why did two of my first three encounters happen with men who couldn't finish?