Getting to know my sexuality…
Posted by ren_84 , Mon Oct 25, 2010 01:18 PM
Since becoming a member of SF a months ago, I (can say) have learn more about myself. I am a horny girl. LOL.
I always thought I was weird. I used to wonder why I touch myself in ways to stimulate myself.
From where did I learnt this? I wasn’t thought. How was this instilled in me? Why do I like doing it? How did I know if I did it I would relax? How? How? Why did I masturbate? I didn’t know the term until I was 19.
Since knowing I have kept it a secret. My darkest secret. A secret that I never would share with anyone. A secret that I was ashamed about. But this year it all changed.
I was braved enough to share it with my ex- bf. I thought finally someone I can share it with. Someone that has gone through the same thing as I have. He taught me more about myself. I begin phone sex with him. Don’t laugh – the first time I did it… I stopped half way n asked him – “This is wrong, right?” LOL
The next day I goggled “phone sex” not knowing that the term existed before. A whole new world opened up for me to explore. I was thrilled.
But he left. Devastated I turn to masturbating to cheer myself up. Did it regularly. But I never seem to be satisfied. Guess I upgraded to a different level – phone sex. I then started watching porn. Upgraded to another level.
Still never satisfied.
I didn’t know what I was looking for. And then I was curious to know what a sex forum is about… so I joined SF – upgraded to another level.
But SF changed me… I begin to read others experiences, what sex meant to them etc.. well a lot more…I even upgraded to a new level (wink, wink)
But I also realize I need to control. I need to respect myself. I shouldn’t be carried away with this new found knowledge. Having this knowledge is essential for life yet there are other life experiences I need to focus on.. like work, family, etc.
So keeping my fingers cross… I hope I don’t upgrade to any other level too soon… I hope I slow down for awhile….
p/s I couldn’t sleep… so I decided to write this up… heheheh
btw my 2nd attempt of posting picture…. LoL (upgraded another level- hmmm just said I should control LOL)
[attachment=76441:DSC02567.JPG]
I always thought I was weird. I used to wonder why I touch myself in ways to stimulate myself.
From where did I learnt this? I wasn’t thought. How was this instilled in me? Why do I like doing it? How did I know if I did it I would relax? How? How? Why did I masturbate? I didn’t know the term until I was 19.
Since knowing I have kept it a secret. My darkest secret. A secret that I never would share with anyone. A secret that I was ashamed about. But this year it all changed.
I was braved enough to share it with my ex- bf. I thought finally someone I can share it with. Someone that has gone through the same thing as I have. He taught me more about myself. I begin phone sex with him. Don’t laugh – the first time I did it… I stopped half way n asked him – “This is wrong, right?” LOL
The next day I goggled “phone sex” not knowing that the term existed before. A whole new world opened up for me to explore. I was thrilled.
But he left. Devastated I turn to masturbating to cheer myself up. Did it regularly. But I never seem to be satisfied. Guess I upgraded to a different level – phone sex. I then started watching porn. Upgraded to another level.
Still never satisfied.
I didn’t know what I was looking for. And then I was curious to know what a sex forum is about… so I joined SF – upgraded to another level.
But SF changed me… I begin to read others experiences, what sex meant to them etc.. well a lot more…I even upgraded to a new level (wink, wink)
But I also realize I need to control. I need to respect myself. I shouldn’t be carried away with this new found knowledge. Having this knowledge is essential for life yet there are other life experiences I need to focus on.. like work, family, etc.
So keeping my fingers cross… I hope I don’t upgrade to any other level too soon… I hope I slow down for awhile….
p/s I couldn’t sleep… so I decided to write this up… heheheh
btw my 2nd attempt of posting picture…. LoL (upgraded another level- hmmm just said I should control LOL)
[attachment=76441:DSC02567.JPG]
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tonyp
Tue Oct 26, 2010 09:27 PM
First off ... welcome Ren. I think you will find this place to be supportive, helpful and damned sexy to boot. Let me tell you that a journey of sexual discovery is a life long trip. I am happy for you that you are beginning yours so young. I took sex for granted when I was your age ...I didn't start my journey of discovery until I was in my mid forties and I am still on it 16 years later. I just learned something new about my own sexual performance two days ago. You can read about my journey in my blog ...there are over 100 ebntries so it may take a while LOL.
But seriously ...if I can help you please do not hesitate to pm me. As a mod on the site I am here to assist you.
Tenyn
But seriously ...if I can help you please do not hesitate to pm me. As a mod on the site I am here to assist you.
Tenyn
ren_84
Wed Oct 27, 2010 12:38 AM
tenyn, on Wed Oct 27, 2010 10:27 AM, said:
First off ... welcome Ren. I think you will find this place to be supportive, helpful and damned sexy to boot. Let me tell you that a journey of sexual discovery is a life long trip. I am happy for you that you are beginning yours so young. I took sex for granted when I was your age ...I didn't start my journey of discovery until I was in my mid forties and I am still on it 16 years later. I just learned something new about my own sexual performance two days ago. You can read about my journey in my blog ...there are over 100 ebntries so it may take a while LOL.
But seriously ...if I can help you please do not hesitate to pm me. As a mod on the site I am here to assist you.
Tenyn
But seriously ...if I can help you please do not hesitate to pm me. As a mod on the site I am here to assist you.
Tenyn
tq tenyn.... will sure do pm u..
i hv been reading ur blog.... kind of hocked on it heheheh...
the ways u describe ur experience is the reason why i wrote mine... so i could keep track on mine..
so its nice to hear from u seeing u inspired this....
tq again...
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