I did not hesitate. No I would not have walked away. She asked me why not. I told her yes, I could have avoided the hurt. I then explained to her that I would have also avoided the joy. I would have avoided the child we had. I would have avoided the love.
She asked about the intimacy. Do I miss that? Yes, there is an intimacy of sex with the one you love that cannot be matched by other encounters. The sex is an expression, a physical manifestation of that love. Sex with the one you love.. it is glorious!!!
Do I feel that sex at that level of intensity can exist without love? Yes! But for me, no. It has not been matched before or since.
I went home and tried to think of how I could have conveyed my feelings more eloquently. My words, I felt were not adequate. I read through a book I have and found what I was looking for. They are from Toni Morrison's book "Beloved"
I think that many of you that are or have been in love, or want to be in love will understand these quotes.
“Love is or it ain't. Thin love ain't love at all.”
“Something that is loved is never lost.”