Argh! I swear when I started this venture I expected to have massive orgies, a shit-ton of orgasms, fuck-a-thons, a hell of a time, and log my sexual adventures that would even put Wilt Chamberlain to shame! Thus far it has been drama filled, below average fucks, and vast amounts of self-administered orgasms to prevent “purple pussy”. Hey little boys, little toys! If sexual frustration equals blue balls for you, the prognosis is eerily similar for us violet vaginas.
Monday was moving day for me, although most of the day I spent online blogging and on cam chats. Dealing with the movers packing, hauling, and unloading all my shit was still very stressful! Yes, I am utterly lazy. NOT proud, but don't need my puss punched for it! I am (somewhat) sure that if I had to, I would get involved. It was for that best I didn't.I am so über rigid and so anal retentive with nearly every thing in my life, (oddly EXCEPT cleaning) that I am sure I would have just annoyed the movers. (Yes, valid excuse)
So, I was saying----it was a stressful day. It was quite an emotional experience and mentally ass raping to be frank, the changes in my life were starting to sinking in. Then to top it off, a hulking birdy warned me there was a spy stalking me, recording my every movement.
“I always feel like somebody is watching me?” -Rockwell
This caustic behavior has put a damper on my life for far too long. This is my final FUCK off! You know EXACTLY who you are. Spy, stalk, snoop, and bask in all my glory honey, cause this blog isn't EVER going to FUCKING cease existence no matter who you cry too.
After I diddle daddled for quite sometime, the movers called and informed that they had just finished. I gathered my hoardings and headed over to the new place. On my way, as I was traveling up the I-15 I spotted an Adult Superstore along one of the exits. I had wanted to checkout that place since I first saw it and thinking a little shopping may cheer me up. I thought what the fuck, why not? I should reward myself with a housewarming gift.
I pulled off the exit ramp and pulled into the store parking lot. As I looked around, I started to beam like an overtly obese man entering a Triple Bypass burger joint. The selection was the best I had ever seen. (Fuck Yeah!). I walked over and checked out the large collection of vibrators. I usually never actually allow myself to buy anything top-notch; however a vibrator is a sacred necessity. I had the clerk remove the “The Kong Realistic Dildo” from the display case. Fuck that thing was so massive!
I decided to go ahead and purchase the impressive specimen. I got back in the car and back on the highway as I drove to my new place. I signed some last minute paperwork and was given the keys to my new apartment so I went up to do a quick inspection. My mood brightened almost immediately as I relish in the breathtaking “panty dropping” cityscape view. The entire wall of floor to ceiling windows will make incredibly easy to get laid. In fact, my panties are falling as we speak!
I tried making some headway unpacking but the mass of moving boxes proved too daunting so I text X to see what he was up to. He congratulated me and asked me to accompany me to a celebratory dinner. I nonchalantly obliged and asked him to come by half past eight. I desperately wanted to celebrate RawLewd&Indecent’s up and coming success and living independently for the very first time. No roommates, no relationships, no drama. I suppose going to dinner should be enough but you’re dealing with ME here. Nothing is ever elaborate enough! I swiftly sent a mass text to all my close friends to come out, then proceeded to call Klist. I kittenishly I asked if he could pretty please add me on the guest list. I took a quick shower, applied my make-up, and got dressed. I checked my phone and had a few replies, mostly "working early 2morrow, have fun!, however my close guy friend Kevin agreed to meet me in front of Marquee at 11:30.
X was punctual as usual (well with me he is). He could be such a paradox, that one. He was able to piss me off more quickly and more intensely than anyone else I had ever met, yet he always manages to support me in all the right moments... I guess you would call that... a wonderful man-- friend. Enough with the glum introspection.
We opted to enjoy Autumn's crisp, cool evening air and immerse ourselves in the city lights, sounds, and ever crowded streets--via foot. I followed aside him the entire way to STK; we sat by the bar waiting for our table and ordered drinks. Well I had a drink, he had a lemonade. It was a weeknight and he worked very early. Oh well more for me! Three drinks later, for me that is, we were finally seated. The restaurant is anti-intimacy, with raging music blaring throughout the place. I had to repeat myself numerous times and got frustrated. My liberal alcohol consumption only made the situation worse and my infamous wicked alter-ego "Omni-cunt Jayde" (boastful and without censorship) manifested; increasing with every time I repeated a word.Finally I had enough and my pretentious unnecessary “I don’t give a fuck” attitude sparked an argument between the two of us and I walked out on X.
I stormed down to Marquee where I found Kevin waiting. It was only ten til eleven but I was glad he was there so I wouldn't have to wait. Klist had a colleague escort us into the club; no lines, no cover and a few drink comps! Already upset, I indulged myself excessively in cocktails, danced carelessly, and even met a few"Lewd-ers"from the blog. I did not stay at STK long enough to eat, thus I was starving. We left the club, ate pizza, I drunkenly humped a stone statue dog, we returned to Marquee, we drank even more, and I danced until my feet started to blister.
As the night drew on and my hunger for a female playmate intensified. My predatory instinct arose and that meant hunting season! I spotted two hotties trying to make their way through the crowd towards the bar. I signaled Kevin and we walked (well more like stumbled) up to them and introduced ourselves, and after a bit of chitchat, I invited them to the bar for a round (Fucking right--- more drinks). I made mental notes of each Sex Kitten; Tori was the tight bodied number with long chestnut hair, while Capri was a voluptuous brunette with nice pouty lips that I'd like to shove between my legs. The pair was from New York City and visiting Vegas to celebrate Tori's divorce.
I was instantly attracted to Tori. I laid on the charm and in response Tori’s failed attempt to play coy made it evident she was receptive to my feminine wiles. The flirting between Tori and I slowly escalated and we became quite touchy with one another. Capri stood silently facing Kevin. Her clearly disgusted and somewhat stuck-up vibe told me she strictly loved the cock. When she reached her limit, she demanded Kevin buy her a drink. Tori watched Capri leave and as soon as she turned back I impulsively stole a kiss from her; i felt her melt like butter.
The night quickly progressed into an alternating gropes and hot make-out sessions. We grew weary of the barrage of verbal intrusions from the nearby drunk, undersexed onlookers, and opted to find somewhere more private. We did not notice Kevin and Capri left until Tori received a text from Capri stating she had returned to their shared suite with Kevin. In virtue of Capri calling dibs on her and Tori's suite, I offered her a bribe; the "panty dropping" view from my apartment hoping her panties will drop. She was more than happy to oblige.
We entered my apartment building’s elevator. A Curious thought came to mind and I began to wonder if the elevator had secret cameras. Shamelessly impulsive, I exposed and nuzzled Tori's breasts, intentionally entertaining whomever on the receiving end of the camera. Reaching my floor, my new playmate followed me closely as we rushed to the apartment. At the door, I kissed her passionately as I blindly fumbled around my purse in search of my keys.
We stumbled into the apartment still embracing. In moments, we were undressing each other with drunken zest. I slid her lace black panties down, and then pushed her gently into an armchair. Before she realized what I was doing, I buried my head between her legs. Within moments, she began arching her back in pleasure as I slowly tongued her sweaty, salty labia. She grabbed the back of my head with both hands, and I moved up with my tongue to her clit, tickling the organ with short horizontal strokes. Her moaning and writhing intensified dramatically; And she gripped my head with her thighs and began grinding with her pelvis. I increased my tongue speed, end began Tori cry out. When I senses she was approaching orgasm, I grasped the clitoris with my lips and gently suckled. She cried out in rapture as her pelvic thrusts suddenly became fervent and wild. An instant later, a quick, strong gush of tasteless viscid squirted into my mouth, startling me. I fumbled backwards in disgust, hearing my plaything faintly murmur "oh shit, oh shit, oh shit” languidly. My fuck-toy melted into the chair with post coital ecstasy and I sat curled over, spitting out the remaining cum in my mouth.
When I got up to my feet, I offered her a drink, leaving her to recover her strength while I went rinse my mouth. When I returned, I found Tori was out on the balcony, naked, admiring the view while smoking a cigarette. I walked out, set the drinks down, then reached out and playfully slapped her ass. She giggled and wiggled her ass in response, then offered me a cigarette. We stood in silence for a while, admiring the colors and lights from the city below.
After finishing our cigarettes, we returned inside, when Tori surprised be by bending down and taking one of my nipples into her mouth. Both of us still standing, she reached down, and slid her hand between my legs and began to rub my vagina. I shuddered from the sensation, and closed my eyes. She continued inside me, quite skillfully I noted, and I began to moan in rhythm with her hand. I felt my knees weakened and so quickly took several slow tiny steps backwards until I reached the couch. I sat, bringing up my knees spreading my legs in invitation. Tori licked her lips lasciviously, and began to kneel but came to an abrupt stop. Something caught her attention and she suddenly turn towards "The Kong" sitting high and mighty on my end table. Her eyes burned devilishly, and I suggestively raised an eyebrow. She grabbed "The Kong" and removed it from the packaging. As I leaned back again, I had to admit it was truly a behemoth vibrator. I held my breath and nervously wondering how it would ever fit in my snatch when I continuously tear from X alone.
Tori laughed as she took the device and made a remark, "You seem awfully petite for this thing." she teased. She inspected it briefly, then told me to lean back, close my eyes, and spread my legs.
A few moments later, I was treated to a gentle wave of pleasure as I felt a gentle whirring against my vagina. The continued vibration steadily intensified the feeling, and it became steadily more difficult to stifle my groans. I heard a soft click and the vibration intensity inside of me increased, my groans became cries, and my hands gripped and dug into the fabric of the couch.
I hear the click again and the buzzing grows even louder. But instead of a deluge of Ecstasy that I was expecting, suddenly a horrible pain rips through my pelvis. My eyes shoot open to the horrific scene of Tori trying to plow the colossal dildo into my vagina, without even so much as a drop of lubricant. Pain reverberated throughout my pelvis and up my spine as I felt tissue rip down in my vulva and labia.
I screamed in pain, instinctively flailing backward and reflexively kicking up. My foot made solid contact with "The Kong" knocking her square in the face. It struck her over the eye with a loud thwack somehow bouncing upwards as it is knocked away. The stunned woman fumbles backwards a few steps, then falls directly onto her ass with several loud curses. In what seemed like slow motion, I watch helplessly as the massive dildo reaches the arc of its flight, and then over the balcony.
A stream of muffled whimper issues from Tori as she writhes in pain. Seeing how close the blow came to hitting her eye, I can do little more than hope there is no permanent damage. I swallowed, and approached the woman. I went over to check on Tori. I waited until she stopped sobbing before I peeled her hands away. Her left eye was bleeding and completely red. I couldn't help but to wonder if the monstrous thing fell on any one's head and knocked them out----FOCUS, damn it!
I didn't want to call X due to our earlier spat. I knew I was wrong for acting as I did in the club, but it just wasn't the moment to discuss my feelings. So, Instead, I called 911. When the fire department and EMS arrived, they took Tori's vitals, and proceeded onto thoroughly examine her head and neck. Unable to get her to remove her hand from over her eyes, the paramedics intravenously administered a type of tranquilizer; most likely Haldol . Within a minute, Tori was snoring softly, and her hand dropped to side. Her eye was nearly swollen shut, and was a brilliantly red, though to my knowledge her eye seemed healthy.
They loaded Tori for transport to an ER for further evaluation. I jotted down the destination hospital's name and address, then, as soon as they left, I called the Cosmo and passed the information on to one of the night managers, suggesting they may want to let her suite-mate know what had happened. I hung up the phone and enjoyed the peaceful silence. After I give Tori a ride back to her hotel I am determined to lock myself in, unpack, blog and enjoy the solitude for a few days. I breathed a sigh and sat down on the couch agitated. As soon as the fog receded it hit me; I had been robbed of an orgasm yet fucking again?!? Smh I suppose I will have to---- FUCKING SHIT BALLS!!!!! My only working vibrator flew over the fucking balcony!!! (SIGH) Somewhere down there a hooker is cracked-out and beaming with "The Kong" in her twat--- or ass....OUCH!
I am so fucking through doing all the leg work with these bitches. I am naturally attentive and it turns me on seeing and hearing how gifted I am in that department, but I already know I am talented so I need not of any proof! On my next tryst I will be the one getting/receiving/pleasured first/before, thenceforth giving!
Don't like it? Tough shit bitch! Try finding a muff diver as talented as me!
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