Maybe I should start with one thing at a time.... Lets see, the subject that is on my mind most right now is monogamy.
Or should it be called the 'M' word...
Specifically monogomy in marriage.... M2?
... or long term relationship (will be used interchangeably in the remainder of this entry)
I feel I live in a society that it is preached you MUST be monogamous or you are a sinner, immoral, inappropriate, a disgusting human being, blah blah blah. I haven't done much research on this topic and I am sure once I do I will find many of the answers I am seeking BUT my main question is... Why does your sex life determine the sanctity of your marriage? When, how, why did this become the norm?
You see all the time people developing deep, meaningful, spiritual connections with people outside of their marriage but that isn't considered wrong or immoral. The moment someone is drunk or caught up in a good time and has a sexual encounter with someone else suddenly there is something wrong with the marriage.
When did we become a society that connects sex with emotional attachment. There are many many men in my life who I love dearly and have very strong emotional bonds with them, they are important to me and they are people I never want out of my life. There are also men who I have sex with without any emotional attachment to them whatsoever. They are more like casual acquaintances then partners in life. BUT those men who I have strong emotional bonds with are the type of men I would love to be my partner because I care for them and their well-being and always want the best for them.
I think the whole only having sex with one person is an extremely conservative point of view... Biologically our bodies don't want that. Men are designed to 'spread their seed' and females are designed to 'prepare for child.' We are creating a society that goes against our bodies natural desires. Personally I do not think that it is healthy for your body to go through this inner turmoil every time an exciting sexual encounter arises in your life.
I can emotionally committed to one person, they can be THAT person, the most important person in my life and I will always treat them that way but I don't think other sexual encounters should negate how important someone is in my life. I feel as long as people are truthful and honest and open that is what makes or breaks a relationship.
If you are a monogamous person - GREAT
If you are not a monogamous person - GREAT
I think the greater threat to relationships is that people get into one and agree to a lifestyle they may not be comfortable with. Then they need to lie to their partner about what they are doing in their spare time which causes fights and mistrust ect ect ect. Why can't we all accept each-other the way they are and not force something on to them that doesn't feel right to them?
Anyway I have really just scratched the tip of the iceberg... this is a very complicated topic! I feel I will be debating and researching it for the rest of my life.