People have said it gets easier as time goes on but does it really? I think about him everyday, granted I don't cry over it like I use to but I think about it now than what I did. I guess it gets easier to think about and controlling the emotions but not the fact that he is gone. It is shitty to think about all of the things my boys will never get to do with him and the experiences he won't get to pass on to them. We had a strange relationship while I was growing up. Typical nasty divorce when I was about 13 and the standard weekend and holiday visits, etc. Surprising when I turned 20 we became very close and he really stepped it up. When the kids were born he became even better and that is what I miss the most. So, I have to answer "No" it isn't easier but we'll see as time goes on.
I guess I am rambling because I don't like to talk about it and writing it down is easier. Not really the best of times to blog something like this but oh well. It is late, the Mrs's and I got into a fight, so I went to the couch and thought I would write since I can't sleep. Going out to the couch always pisses her off and is my way of getting back at her for the fight. If I am to blame, I will stay in bed and try to reconcile the fight(95% of the time) but if she was to blame I will leave sometimes to be a dick. Childish? Yes but worth it to me. Again, one of those stupid little things, like the stupid thing we got into a fight about.
I guess I should include the fight here as well. Before I came to bed I cut my hair( I'm bald and just clipper it myself) and since the clippers were out I did a little man-scaping. Nothing she hadn't seen before, just a trim. So, I came to bed and she freaking laughed at me! She has seen the scaping plenty of times before and always appreciated it. Yet laughed this time? So, I said f-off and that I was trying to do something nice for you(still laughing), I tried to lay in bed but was still pissed, so here I am. Oh well such is life!
Thanks for reading. W