And there are lingering insecurities, by the metric ton. I still haven't found the nerve to confront her about hiding her activities from me, because it would require me to admit to her that I'd been snooping on her email the entire time - and I know from past experience that she will take any opportunity, no matter how trivial it might seem to me, to turn it around on me, and excuse her actions, or at least deflect her responsibility for those actions, by blaming me for my actions, no matter how justified they might have been.
I'm tempted to create a PostSecret card and mail it in, saying "My anxiety is because I know that instead of feeling remorse for having lied to me, you'll blame me for finding out."
I just wish she'd want to do with me the things she did and wanted to do with him: taking sexy pictures of herself, specifically. Oral sex, something she has never done with me, too... although that's much less important. The pictures thing, she really just doesn't understand how sexy I find her, and how much of a turn-on I find such pictures. Selfies are pretty much the only kind of porn I look for any more, and to have some from her would blow my mind... but I feel like I can't ask her for them without being accused of "pressuring her". The search for them is kinda what brought me back here, to be honest ;)
Anyway, still taking it day by day, standing up for myself more when I can, even though it causes more fights, and hoping that the B-12 continues to improve my wife's condition. Not sure whether I'll return to activity here, but we'll see.