My wife and I have been married for 11 years. We've had an open marriage arrangement that has gone mostly untested, but for a few online friends on my part, and a few dates with other women on her part. We have both suffered bouts of depression, hers due to post-partum and post-op, mine due to... who knows, really. The past two years have been post-op, and they have been incredibly hard on me - feelings of rejection have pushed me into my own depression, almost to the point of me leaving because it would hurt less.
She recently came out of that depression, and has rediscovered her sexuality... and started a fling with an old high school friend (an old crush, to be honest). Unfortunately for me, the start of this fling coincided with a period of stress about reconnecting with another long lost high school friend, and so the fling seemed to be much more serious than it actually was, sending me into some insane paranoia. I was reading her emails, snooping onto her computer, and generally getting myself pissed off because of perceived dishonesty on her part - which turned out to be nothing more than paranoia on my part.
Around the same time as my wife coming out of her depression, I was doing some recovery of my own. I'd dropped ~20 lbs, was feeling good... and had almost hooked up with a bridesmaid at my brother's wedding. Got her number, was starting to chat with her... things were looking good for me. I've also met some girls at the local coffee shop, and at the grocery store, and, because of the additional ~10 to ~20 lbs that have come off, some girls at work have started to make favorable comments... I got my ears pierced as a reward for the weight loss, something I've been thinking about doing for years.
My wife and I have pretty much resolved my paranoia about her fling... I'm still not happy about it, because I think she is taking it a lot more seriously than she is willing to admit to herself (she refuses to admit that she thinks about him all day long, even though her emails reveal that she does... also he bailed on hooking up with her when she travels to his area next month, and she's been unhappy since she found out), and because she is sending him pictures and videos that she's not sharing with me, but I am working through these issues and she is making the effort to make sure I know she still loves me and wants me.
I've also recently had a re-awakening of my own bisexual urges... I've always strongly favored women, but for some reason I can't shake the urge to give a guy a blow job.
So where are we now... she's strongly interested in a threesome with another guy, I'm interested in experimenting with another guy, she's strongly interested (completely infatuated?) with her old crush, I'm strongly interested in hitting it with pretty much anything that moves (and now that I'm losing weight and gaining confidence, my chances of succeeding are improving)...
My wife is my best friend... I can't let my paranoia destroy our marriage (and it does, by pushing her away)... I want to be able to let her have her fun, and I want to be able to have my fun, but I want to know that she will always be there for me as I will always be there for her. I think I'm still depressed... and my occasional paranoia flare-ups push me further down each time.
Maybe I need to spend more time working out... I haven't done it in a while, but when I was doing it regularly, things were better. If only it weren't so dark and cold outside... it really makes it hard to get going.