Then I saw her first email of the day, telling him how she wanted him so bad "last night and this morning" - even though I was right there... I hope she was talking about before our fabulous sex, not during.
She also said she wanted to go down on him without a condom - a violation of our rules... but then remembered the rules a few messages later. Let's hope she remembers the rules when she's actually with him.
I am telling myself that no matter what she feels for him, her feelings for me will always be stronger. If this is true, and she swears to me that it is, then I can pull through this. It's going to be tough, and painful, but... either I trust her, and keep fixing myself, and wait for her to decide whether to stay or go... or I keep destroying myself, and she'll almost certainly go... (or I destroy the marriage myself right now by confronting her, which I don't want to do, so it's not really an option).
I must have faith in her, that her feelings for me are stronger than her feelings for him.
I must find myself, and keep improving myself, so she'll have something she wants to come back to.
I must. I can make this work.