As I sit here listening to Rascal Flatts and Montgomery Gentry songs I can't help but look back at the last few years of my life. Since i graduated in 2002, I've worked at 5 different jobs, currently employed at 2 jobs and life has just gotten harder since then I've noticed. I left PA in the spring of 2004 and it has changed me significantly; I've grown mentally and learned new things about myself in adversity. I'll admit I was ready to quit basic training, that's how much of an emotional strain I had at the time but I carried on and pushed on through. I've gotten to travel overseas to Germany, Switzerland, Iraq, Kuwait, Ireland, and Qatar. I've gotten to meet different cultures and I loved every minute of it. I've lived in 3 different states, if you can count basic training (8 weeks) and tech school (7 weeks) both in TX, been in OK and currently still in SD. I've been home a total of maybe 3 months since 2004, but I got my new home now with my wife. I love her with all of my heart and soul but things are not as great as they could be right now. I know though that things will get better its just a tough time right now because it just feels so heavy on my heart what we're going through. I know I could have done things differently, not could have should have actually. I guess my biggest fear is right now, I lived on my own since 2004 was independent and self sure but now I'm so used to having her by my side that I'm afraid I've gone and lost her and it just honestly scares the living shit out of me and I don't know what I'm going to do and if I'll be able to carry on. I know everyone tells me to be strong but its just so hard to be strong when I keep doubting myself and I keep thinking that I'm just a total fuck up in life. I want to be strong enough to carry on through this rough time right now but I just keep getting these negative thoughts going through my head and its just driving myself insane. I know that I need to be strong and I know i can be I'm just going to need some help doing it, from my family, friends and God himself. I'm going tomorrow, well I guess it is tomorrow already, to go talk with a preacher.
Blood is thicker than water, but war bonds you and those around you closer together than anything else out there.