On that fateful day I met with my lady friend, whom we shall call Diane, the weather had already started to turn. When i got to her house it was just the two of us, but knowing that her family was soon to arrive, we had to restrain ourselves from having any sort of fun. A few minutes of awkwardly sitting there and her phone begins to ring: first her sister, who informs Diane that she won't make it to dinner, then her brother who has decided to stay the night in his dorm room as opposed to making the drive home. At this point I realize that her dad is out of town on business and that it's just her mom we are waiting on. A few more minutes go by and the storms proceed to get worse. Then, lo and behold, Diane's mom calls and says that she has been detained at work until the storms die down, and that we should do our own thing for dinner. That was all it took. Being young and dumb, we went at it right where we were, on the living room couch. Being that we were sober, and that we were fairly new to each others body, the hook up took quite some time to progress. Who knows how long we were actually going at it. All i really remember, because the next part is a bit of a blur, is her on top of me, both of us naked, and my leg kicked up on the side of the couch. Now obviously she had hearing that was above and beyond that of my own, because as I was mid stride, she performed what I can only describe to you as some sort of ninja barrel role move off of me and onto the floor. About the time i begin to lean up, I realize that Diane's mom is about 10 feet from me and all she can see is a naked man, fully erect, and just laying on her couch. She screams, turns beet red, and bolts back out the door. I was shocked. From this point there was a lot of screaming, and tears, so of course what do I do? I get dressed in what was probably world record time, and snuck out another door. Needless to say I was not invited back to this house for quite some time. If only our story stopped here I would have considered in only a mild speed bump in my young life. As life would have it, however, Diane and I kept seeing each other, and over the course of the next few months, her parents came to terms with me being around and decided to invite me back for another dinner.
Knowing that the meet and greet with her family was bound to be a little bit awkward, i steeled myself for the worst. I got to Diane's house and walked in to the entire family sitting around the table waiting to eat. "Great" I though, late to a dinner that is meant for me. Despite our history, the dinner went well. We laughed, and i complimented the chef, and we talked about random things and they asked about my life. A few hours later as the night was winding down, the family began to disperse. Her dad went to watch the news, her brother went back to school, her sister went outside to smoke, and Diane went upstairs to change. Which left me with her mom. She was washing the dishes so I, being the gentleman that i am, went to help her. After about the third dish she casually says to me, "You know what, it was nice having you over to dinner tonight." I took a moment to process this, and and, throwing caution to the wind, i said about the dumbest thing i could have said. "You know what? It was really nice meeting you, and at least this time I had pants on....." I swear even the water stopped making noise. We both turned red. After a few seconds she says to me, "Too soon." I try a laugh. It doesn't work. Then, slowly, I turned and walked straight out the door.
The moral of my story boys and girls is that there is always a time and place. Take that how you wish.
P.S. - I wasn't invited back until about three months later where we had dinner again with no incident.