Did not even wake up to talk with me girlfriend today she had to go to court and after last night I did not want to speak with her I sent this email last night after she got home from work eat dinner came up to me said had a bad night and I am going to bed and walked away with out letting me speak at all.
I know you can say you do not need this right now and all that but I am feeling toyed with and used still. Last night and sunday you were teasing me and toying with me saying how today being tusday you might take care of it then this morning you do not state any different but then all of a sudden this afternoon nothing you just say you not in the mood and leave it at that. then you come home dont say a word to me. you dont tell me anything or talk to me at all about how you are feeling or anything. this is not a relationship this is you using me when and how you want me that is what this is. I am sick of this ok you need to deside you say you love me dayly and I am really asking you this time DO YOU REALLY LOVE ME OR DO U LIKE USING ME. I wrote this but was not going to give it to you because we talked but now i feel i need to since nothing has change I am getting sick and tired of this you ignore everything I have been saying. You tease me and torture me. The last few times we have had sex it has been on your terms when you want to nothing lately has been when I want at all. You tease me then tell me to go fix my self that’s not cool at all its one thing if you do it once and a while but you do it to much in the last three weeks. I don’t know if you keep track of when we have sex and stuff or even remember what we do at all but I do. I do not know what to do for you everything lately is on you time and what u want to do you not see that.
I know you might feel hurt and all but that is not my perpose I need to tell you how you make me feel since i really dont see you changing anything. I do everything for you when you want it i got you breakfast i cuddle when you want you tease me and tease me i am not enjoying it any more ok. I dont care if you respond or not have a good night and dont expect me to be in a good mood since
Now tonight 3 hours ago now i tried to talk to her but all she did was blame me for everything saying I could have told her to stop teasing me any point in time and all that. She would not even listen to the idea that she has been using me like a toy.
I could not sleep so i started writing another email that i am not sending but will give you guys some more info about how any why i am feeling this way
Do you know how much i have done for you since november well i feel you dont so I am going to tell you. It started the first weekend in November we have the house alone you got pissed at me the week before and broke up with me saying you wanted a brake I said fine what ever you want. You cant even last one week with out me you text call and beg me to forgive you on Thursday. I do I also come home for the weekend and on Saturday i make you a nice candle lite dinner and i am not even looking for sex or anything just a nice relaxing night. I spend all day Saturday cleaning the dinning room and the bath tube so you can come home and have a nice relaxing bath while i cook. I am not looking for sex that night you wake up in the morning an decided you wanted sex i was not in the mood that day to fight with you so i let you please me. we are doing much better the next time we have sex is on the 19 a Friday night of the musical this is when we almost got caught so i agree with you that we should not do it at home but wait the next time we have sex is at home on the 17 of December 4 weeks later at home this one is you wanting sex again. over xmas break there is some flirting and some pleasing each other with out intercorse but on January 4th we have sex again only a quicky again not what i wanted i wanted some relaxing passion. then a few weeks later i meet with the DA for court then court gets pushed off again. then i get hit by the car. I planed a nice valentines gift for you to have fun building a bear you enjoy and then u surprise me on the 15 with your outfit and sex which i loved greatly. Now it is another 4 weeks later with you teasing me not paying any attention to me wanting everything on your time table when u want it an no other time. you do not tell me when you have plans at all like last wesday when you came to help me not until that day did you tell me you had to drive you mom I was hoping we could do dinner after my jury but nope you dont give me anything. I try and even tell you after my jury how it went you didn't care at all. I ask how school is for you and work but i at least listen and remember what you say. I ignore when i try and tell you about my days your not interested at all.
I know you have been stressed about court you don't show me anything or even tell me you need space I am not a mind reader. you dont think i was worried today not knowing how you were doing. I did not mean to hurt you when i sent the other email but I also have sent you 3 like them before now and like i have said nothing has changed. You dont let me in any more then you have, you didnt stop teasing last time i asked, even when u said you would not drive you mom or anything on the weekends that has not been true either. I hope you realize saying you will change and then not changing makes your word not mean anything.
A relationship is built on trust i have lost a lot lately in you. you keep me out of everything in you life that is rediculous ok I am you Boyfriend and you love me and you want to marrie me and spend you life with me so you say nothing in these last 4-5 mounths has showen that at all. one day you love me the next you hate me I can not take that stress i have been on egg shells since i started my year at school with you.
But wait I am wrong its all my fault I should have been telling you to stop teasing me i should do this and that. IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT I DO DO YOU NOT GET THAT. EVERYTHING IS ON YOUR TIME TABLE NO MATTER WHAT. YOU ALWAYS WANT TO BE DOING THE NEXT THING YOU CANT BE HAPPY WITH ANYTHING YOU HAVE THAT IS INCLUDING ME. I FEEL YOUR NOT HAPPY WITH ME ANY MORE.
I need to know what people think about what i should do