Having issues in bed
Posted Tue Oct 11, 2011 08:31 PM
I am having issues with my girlfriend, I don't think I am pleasing her sexually. I am 23, my girl is 19. I was her first kiss and took her virginity, I myself have been with 12 women. I have never felt sexually inadequate before in bed, but I have also never been with a virgin. Situation is, I cannot make my girl cum. I have always prided myself in the enjoyment I have in going down on a woman, and from the fact that I enjoy it so much I have never had issues with getting someone off. My girlfriend does not mind when I go down on her, but she says it's nothing special and doesn't feel that great. (Dunno if this matters but she has a tiny clit). Now when we have sex she says it feels amazing, but through penetration I cannot get her to orgasm either. She said that she has orgasmed with me when he dry hump and grind each other when she has jeans on, though if so she makes no noise and has no muscular convulsions. Women tend to get those "jimmy legs" when they cum and make some noise, and she did neither. Also another point, she is very quiet when we have sex. No moans, not even heavy breathing.
I have always been confident in the bedroom, but I will admit my ego has taken a huge blow here. I don't know what to do, I am so in love with this girl, but I just feel like we arent clicking sexually. All together we have only had intercourse 15 or so times which I know is not many, and might be part of the issue. She is still new to this I understand, and needs time to gain experience, but I am wondering if other women went through this transition as well?
I am just so at a loss right now, I am currently deployed so I cannot do anything about it now, but when I get back home I am really hoping to get over this, can anyone offer any wisdom or advice?
Posted Tue Oct 11, 2011 09:51 PM
Also, don't put so much emphasis on the destination and enjoy the journey. She might be able to cum easier in a no pressure situation and you will also be clear headed and able to provide her with pleasure if you aren't focusing on the big "O" so much.
I hope you guys work it out.
Posted Wed Oct 12, 2011 08:17 PM
I think you guys don't communicate enough sexually.
You know these things, you can teach her and help her.
I am a virgin and i have never cum being getting fingered or having anything in my pussy.
The two ways i always cum:
- Grinding my pussy (dry humping) on his cock or anything in general. 90% of the time this is how i masturbate almost every night. I grind on my pillow, my bedspread, anything, so far it creates a bulge for me to rub my pussy on.
-The 2nd way is from him eating me out and i only just discovered that i could cum from that. It felt amazing because it was what i would usually do when i masturbate, except the bulge was his tongue.
I have never cum from getting fingered or having my fingers in. I only cum by grinding my clit on something.
I think you guys should communicate more. Tell her to tell you what she likes or doesn't like when you are at it. You can also tell her to tell you where she wants anything. When you are fucking her, whether to keep going in one position or not. Try other positions too.
ALl in all, don't let it bother you.
Posted Thu Oct 13, 2011 09:35 AM
I am a 50-year-old who has been married for 24 years and our fantastic sex life is still developing every day as we discover what pleases each other. As for reaching the destination, which a previous poster talked about - we are still working hard to make sure we never get there - because the journey is such fun.
You sound like a nice guy and she sounds nice too. That's 99 per cent of what you need. The other one per cent is patience.
PS My wife has a tiny clit too, but size doesn't seem to make any difference.
Posted Thu Oct 13, 2011 10:51 AM
My ex wife could cum from nipple stimulation alone!
She would even have orgasms from doing situps....
The woman who I lived with after her, came every time we had sex, but rarely was able to from oral. When she was ready, all she had to do was jump on top and ride me, grinding her clit against me... Within 30 seconds....Bam!! I felt a bit inadequate at first, cuz I almost felt like I was just a sex toy, but I soon got over that....
The woman who I broke up with 3 months ago, but have just started dating again, didn't cum for the first 5 times that we slept together. I pride myself on my oral skills , and was feeling quite inadequate! I even bought her a really high quality vibrator, to make up for the imbalance...Lol!... It just took time for her to become fully comfortable with herself around me, as she has self esteem issues. It still takes her a while, and mostly only from oral...
Posted Thu Oct 13, 2011 01:44 PM
Stop focusing on the orgasm and just focus on pleasuring her. The orgasms will come.
Posted Wed Oct 19, 2011 01:03 PM