Problem with my girlfreind and giving head.
Posted Mon Apr 16, 2007 08:56 PM
I have no idea what the problem is, and i need all the help i can get. I can think of 2 reasons why this may happen, but like i said im very uncertain. I think either it reminds her of her ex boyfreind, or what i REALLY think is that she actually has never given head before. I mean come on, ihave never gotten head before and even i knew she was horrible at it. But she always says she had given head before.
Posted Mon Apr 16, 2007 09:00 PM
Posted Mon Apr 16, 2007 09:14 PM
Posted Mon Apr 16, 2007 09:21 PM
Posted Mon Apr 16, 2007 10:40 PM
She's allowed to not have sex. If she isn't interested then talk to her about why. There is a good reason behind it even if it's simply that she isn't ready. If she isn't ready then leave her alone. If you need to have sex and she doesn't want to then let her find a decent guy who will wait for her to be ready and you can go get laid. You'll both be happier.
"She said we dont have enough time and said "Ill just give you head" so i said whatever"
You should have just made out with her and not agreed to a blowjob unless she was happily climbing into your pants. What I quoted there is the equivalent of her saying "I want nothing more than to not have sex right now, but if you really are selfish enough that you need to get laid then go ahead and use me like a blow-up doll, as long as you're happy". If she had some more self esteem and didn't seem to think blow jobs are the answer to intimacy issues then she wouldn't have done that.
"I took the initiative, and i unbuttoned my pants and pulled it out to make it easier for her. She then paused for about 15 seconds, then started giving me head."
I can't believe you did this. That's almost as bad as shoving her head down on your dick. She paused because she didn't want to do it. She was probably resigning herself to "satisfying" you the way she "had" to "satisfy" her ex.
"I have never gotten head in my entire life, and even i knew she couldnt give good head if her life depended on it."
You insult her? You must care so deeply. I can tell that just by reading this. (That's sarcasm, perhaps harsher than you deserve I'll admit). If she wanted to do it she would get better with practice. If she is continually horrid at it it's probably because she doesn't care to improve and / or she wants men to stop wanting it from her. Do you want head when it sucks so badly? Probably not. I'd do it badly too if it got me off the hook and I didn't want to give head.
"About 2 minutes in she got up and said she couldnt breathe out of her nose because shes getting over a cold. She was also crying. I asked her what the matter was and she said nothing, and i asked her to try one more time (i shouldnt have, but im a guy, meh) it took her about 5 minutes, but she tried again. She lasted longer, still doing a very bad job, then got up said her mouth hurt and that she wants to go home. She was still crying."
If she stopped then you're done. Let it go. Be a man not a boy. She wasn't happy and it was your fault. You made her cry. Upon seeing her cry you asked her to repeat the act that just made her cry? I hope that awful blowjob was worth her self respect and your decency.
"I took her home and we sat on her couch for about 10 minutes, all the time me asking her what the matter was, because i was concerned. She insisted on not speaking about it"
I'm glad you were concerned eventually. I would suggest if you want to have a healthy relationship with this girl in and out of the bedroom that you don't begin from a sexual angle. Begin with a sweet PG angle. That means not being sexual. Just kiss and hold hands etc. Talk to her. Start from the beginning. There is a reason she doesn't want to have sex. There is a reason she gives head even though she obviously isn't enjoying herself. Just like it is a truism of life that sex is best when done in love, sex is best when both parties are happily enjoying it.
You have the rest of your life and millions of whores in this world to get head. This girl should mean more to you than a blowjob. If she doesn't, then I reiterate what I said above. Let her find someone better than you who will treat her as well as she deserves. And you can work on finding someone that gives good head and just might fuck you.
Posted Mon Apr 16, 2007 11:05 PM
Posted Tue Apr 17, 2007 01:20 AM
Posted Tue Apr 17, 2007 07:30 AM
Well i talked to her this morning and she was blaming it on herself, but i was trying to like... brush it off onto me somehow cuz i do know i did some things wrong but she wouldnt stop saying she was a bad girlfreind and stuff. I just told her i loved her and that we wont be doing the whole blowjob thing anymore. Obvious reasons.
Posted Tue Apr 17, 2007 12:42 PM
I would be willing to bet this is the start of you not having sex. I bet her last boyfriend and her broke up for the same reason you will. And I bet there is some person out there that will figure out what she needs to get excited, will be willing to do it and that she'll fall in love with him for it and live happily ever after in orgasmic bliss. Ok, maybe not that last part.
Bottom line, it's not strictly your problem, she has issues, but you are pushing those issue buttons. If you see value in staying with her you need to find out what turns her on and then do that instead. Unless she's begging you for it don't go there. You just need to figure out how to get her to beg.. Good luck, sounds like you are a nice guy.