Is this normal for someone my age?
Posted Sun May 06, 2007 05:17 AM
And because it's causing me mental issues I haven't gotten an erection in the past week.
My current girlfriend says it is not normal for a 37 year old to go limp during sex. Is she right? We have had sex about 5 or 6 times and only twice have I been able to get a nut. The other times I go limp.
I've got 15 minutes to have an organsm. Over that 15 minutes I can go limp. Even with my previous girlfriend, about half the time we would have sex, I'd go limp.
When I was with my previous girlfriend, my main complaint was she required/demanded 20 minutes of fourplay before she would allow me to penetrate her. So I'd be laying there and after 20 minutes of playing with her breasts like she wanted, I'd go limp and have problems trying to get my erection back up again.
Does this sound like ED? Or is this normal for someone my age?
Are there any treatments other than Viagra, Cialis or Levitra? Or shots given to the penis? All of those sound like last resorts. Looks to me like I could goto my doctor and they could determine the cause and try to treat the cause rather than the symptom.
I never really knew I had a problem until I became sexual active a little over a year ago. I always had to depend on myself for sexual gratification so when I would masturbate I'd get it over within a few minutes. But when I'm with another person it can take me more than 15 minutes to organsm so I have problems if I go over that.
The other thing is I have this fear I could go limp so I start to panic and usually do go limp.
I have quit smoking but I don't know if this is the root cause or a factor. My girlfriend said her past two husbands smoked allot but had no problems maintaining an erection even until their 40s.
Diabeties does run in my family and my father is now in pretty bad shape because of it. I've never been tested for it. But I am not overweight like he is.
What I'm afraid of is once you have ED, there is no cure for it. Just a life of Viagra. I see these commercials on TV twenty times a day and they make it sound like water off a ducks back.
What confuses me is there are certain times during the day I can hold an erection for more than 15 minutes. Typically when I wake up in the morning. Sometimes I would have such a strong erection I'd wake up in the middle of the night. Sometimes it could last for an hour. So this leads me to believe my problem is more in my mind than anything.
I do carry some emotional baggage from past failed relationships and from being a virgin until I was 35.
Typically when I do have problems it's during the night such as when the lights are out. If I can get some visual stimulation I do allot better. In other words just feeling alone is sometimes not enough to keep me aroused.
But just like my previous girlfriend she doesn't like for me to see her totally naked. My current girlfriend likes to wrap a sheet around her when we have sex. Or throws on a robe before she gets out of bed. So I'm really not getting the visual stimulation I'm craving.
Posted Sun May 06, 2007 05:29 AM
This must be so frustating for you, and worrying about it will definitely be making it worse, but how do you stop worrying?
Hopefully you will get some good advice here. Good luck.
Posted Sun May 06, 2007 05:46 AM
The fact that you have failed a couple of times makes you afraid that you will fail again.... this is a real ego buster.
My suggestion is that you try to find INTENSE X or POWER V (under $13) at Walgreens, Brooks or CVS. These are natural enhancers with ingredients used by Chinese for centuries...for the most part they work. You can use these about 20 minutes to an hour before you have sex. It may get you more CONFIDENT. After this, you may not need anything. But it can't hurt to try.
However, you must be in GOOD PHYSICAL CONDITION. So a good general physical is in order...something you should get anyway. Your sex life can be lessened if you drink, do drugs, smoke, have a medical condition or take prescribed meds....so beware.
Beware, also that excessive body heat can put away an erection. Try to pee just before. Deeper strokes add to the problem. If you go soft after insertion, excuse yourself to the bathroom and dab with cold water. You will be amazed at what this does. Keep in mind that guys and some girls need lube so use a good one. This alone can make a REAL difference.
Your fear of Viagra is not really warranted. Millions use it and are satisfied. However, the natural stuff is a terrific buy with way fewer side effects. Just don't take too much. Ease into them. Beware of too much Yohimbe. My choice is INTENSE x, $10 but it may be hard to find. I don't think these enhancers are good to take all the time. However, if it keeps you going, it's good....better than being put out to pasture early in life.
Come back and let us know.
Posted Sun May 06, 2007 06:09 AM
Other factors: Depression, Spinal injury, Medications, Stress, Smoking/Alcohol
The brain is a big factor in most ED. It plays games with you and once you have experienced a failure to perform you have anxiety that it is going to happen again. Another thing to think about is masturbation. The brain plays a factor here as well. If after many years you know what it takes you to get off and you are consistently dependable and successful at it you may not be receiving the same level of friction or stimulating activity with another person. When they complain it makes things worse.
I would suggest that you go for a complete physical and not be afraid to discuss your issue with a physician. If you have history of diabetes in your family I would certainly get this checked.
Good luck and don't be afraid to use Viagra or other ED meds. They might give you the confidence that you need.
Posted Sun May 06, 2007 06:20 AM
Don't sweat it,....just learn to go with it....:102: