She tells me the most intimate details.
Posted Mon May 07, 2007 07:55 AM
While we ran this morning, she told me that her husband cums within seconds of putting his penis in her. She is on the patch now and he doesn't need to wear a condom. He says that he is too sensitive and he can't hold out. He gives her oral to finish her or he will give her oral until he gets it up again, but she would like him to last longer in the first outing. She asked me if I knew any hints on how to make him last longer. All I could advise was to read up on the topic on the internet, there are certain techniques and there are desensitisers that might help too.
I thought the conversation might have ended or changed to another topic, but she didn't relent. She opened her laptop and did a google search on sexual information and was going to surf some sites. That was when I made my exit, wishing her good luck.
Do you have friends who tell you very intimate details of their sex life? I never did.
Posted Mon May 07, 2007 08:10 AM
Part of what made me uncomfortable was that she did it in a kind of ... goading way. The look on her face and her body language would suggest she felt pride in discussing such things and "don't I have something to add?". I didn't have much to add though. I feel those things are best discussed publicly with a purpose or anonymously and not on a normal conversational basis.
Being so open is what we did in high school. Just like guys need notches in their bed posts, girls began to feel more comfortable with their sexual expression. So they act provocatively because that's the only way to get male attention, or the best way maybe. I understand that teenagers are too young still to realize there is more to attraction than blatant sexuality and advertising your conquests, but we're supposed to be passed that. My friend never really got passed that. It was a little sad to me. It made me uncomfortable after a while. Like I said, I felt like she ... she was judging herself as adequate or cool or whatever based on how openly and proudly she expressed her conquests. I felt like she was judging me as less than her because I wasn't that way. It bothered me when we talked. I felt like I had to measure up somehow or ... just that I needed to be more open like her or enjoy being open like her, because she's my friend and I wanted to make her happy or like me or whatever. Now I feel sad for her. She's a crack whore now. Blatantly sexual and proud of her conquests, still. I think there is value in humility and mystery and decency. There is a reason things are referred to as a "private life".
Posted Mon May 07, 2007 08:40 AM
I'll never be able to look at her husband again without thinking of him cumming quickly. I thought telling her that practice makes perfect would end it, but she would go into details. Details that embarrass me while she tells me.( trying to hold off, he took it out , but then he couldn't stop and started shooting semen all over her)yuck.
She has told me that she never really had anyone that she could talk to, so I guess I fell into the slot by default. I'm a couple of years older and she thinks its normal to tell all.
When I was in High School, my friend used to tell me about all of the boys that she was having sex with, and all of the intimate details. That was different then. I didn't think I came off like a sex advisor to my new friend,but she just felt comfortable in asking.
I thought I was a sexual moderate, but other then places like this, I feel slightly uncomfortable discussing personal sexual habits with her.
Posted Mon May 07, 2007 10:19 AM
With my friend I mentioned above, after we grew up a little and she continued to be that way, I learned to view the situation in more of a helping capacity. I was never entirely comfortable with such openness about personal issues, but I realized that at the heart of it she just needed someone to listen to her. She didn't want, or need, professional help or a serious conversation necessarily. She just needed a friend to talk to. Like a sounding board. It ended up taking over most of our conversations, sure. But I have friends, and my boyfriend, that I can discuss things with when I need to and that I can have non sexually oriented conversations with. So if she needs to talk about that then it's fine.
I felt a little guilty being less than welcoming about the conversations we had, and about assuming (and being right most of the time) that it was all she would care to talk about, and that if she didn't have a sex life we wouldn't have anything to talk about.
But ... if anyone, even someone I don't know, ever needs to vent to me with no desire for advice, they simply need someone to listen, then I'll do it. If they need advice or an advocate then I'll be there. And everything in between. So, though I may not think her conversation is appropriate all the time, I won't shut her down because I know there is more to it. I may avoid her sometimes when I know it's not serious and she's just looking for attention or something. You're allowed to do that. But if needed then I have no problem being a little uncomfortable to help a friend if they need to talk.
I suggest trying to see why your friend keeps feeling the need to share these details. Maybe if you focus on that more than the details it will make you more appreciative of the conversation. Maybe not. Perhaps she thinks this is what "girl talk" is and she's trying to be close with you? If all else fails "join a club" or have some other appointment you need to run to shortly after running with her.
Posted Mon May 07, 2007 09:07 PM
Posted Tue May 08, 2007 06:44 AM
She was one of the admins at work, and we would go on and on about stuff every day. She really liked to give the play-by-play account. It wasn't a put-on act. The woman just ooooozed sex. Not sensuality only, more like FUCK ME. Like a bug zapper in a gnat swarm. Poor guys.
Posted Wed May 09, 2007 05:17 AM
Posted Wed May 09, 2007 08:59 AM
Posted Wed May 09, 2007 04:10 PM
I love having female friends that I can talk sex with though. I have a couple of female friends that are like this and I find it to be way cool. I feel like they are closer friends to me b/c there isn't really anything I can't talk with them about.
However my girlfriend is very insistent that I don't talk about our sex relationship issues with anyone. Thankfully I have the anonimity of the internet. She is catholic and rather conservative about sex, so I can see why she wants that kind of privacy.
I am a little biased though. I know women gossip in general. I just take it for granted that if I am having sex with a girl, her friends probably know about as much about me as she does. Doesn't bother me a bit. If anything, it just might lead to more sex down the road for me!
Posted Thu May 10, 2007 05:30 AM
Posted Thu May 10, 2007 11:33 AM
As I said above and what you quoted of me:
"That said, I specifically say "our relationship" because if he is having a personal issue that is between the two of us, then I don't feel it's my place to speak of it. It's his issue, not ours, so I wouldn't talk about that with my friends."
My body is my private business even if I choose to share it with him. His body is his private business even if he chooses to share it with me. I do not discuss private matters in public settings. If I'm with a particular (not just any or every) close friend in a private setting and something is bothering me that I feel I need help (an unbiased third party opinion) resolving then I will talk with my friend.
1. I do not discuss my boyfriend's body with anyone. It's his and therefore no one's business but his own. That's that.
2. I do not talk openly about private matters in public setting.
3. I do not talk openly about private matters with people I don't trust.
4. I do not talk openly about private matters with anyone except my boyfriend, my sister, and my best friend (occasionally).
So in response to your question that situation would not happen and my (and my boyfriend's) private business does not become public just because I chose to discuss it with my sister.