Anger at an ex A refusal to let rage die
Posted Mon Dec 05, 2011 04:57 PM
She was living here as I said. While she was here, she had been going with my dad in his semi. She refused to stay here most of the time and anytime I mention it, she would play the crying game. Also she sat on my Dad's lap. I'd bitch about that and she'd gets pissed. She said she always did with her dad (which is BS since I talked with her dad and she ain't done it since she was 8). And Dad always took her side in any argument we had...he's ignored us completely and anytime we say anything bad of her, he yells at us. He even flat out said that he'd choose her over us.
In the end, he did. He left September 2010 with her. My parents divorced shortly afterward. Not long after, she got pregnant by him and had my Half-brother.
You have no idea how much I hate her and him. I don't hate my half-brother because its not his fault but I will always hate them. My mother has learn to forgive them but I just can't. I don't understand how she can forgive him after she was broken by him. I can never forgive either. They destroyed my self-respect, my confidence and my trust in others.
Sorry but I needed to vent and see if anyone could help.
Posted Mon Dec 05, 2011 05:23 PM
Posted Mon Dec 05, 2011 05:23 PM
But You have to look at the positive :at least, you won't have to share your life with somebody like that.But your dad,who hurt you and ur mom so much,he's with that kind of person.
Life's too short for you to be here, thinking about them while they're enjoying their crap.Do you, life will do them !!
Posted Mon Dec 05, 2011 08:57 PM
Posted Mon Dec 05, 2011 09:17 PM
Posted Mon Dec 05, 2011 10:57 PM
Well the fact that you're talking about it even here helps. You aren't wrong to feel anger. I still feel anger at people who have hurt me in the past but you learn to move on and work around that pain. It will take time but you need to understand that. Just try to focus that anger into something positive. Also try to surround yourself with positive people. That helps a lot. Hang in there.
Posted Mon Dec 05, 2011 11:07 PM
However, you have to move past your anger, or that will bring you some serious problems later down the road. For starters, I think it's good that you come out clean with the way you feel here. I think recognizing the anger is a good start; however, I believe that the emotions related with a situation like this are extremely complex and ledgered. I'm sure there's a lot of pain inside and a lot of sadness. Don't let it linger.
I also realize that therapy might be expensive at this point, but in the absence of a secular alternative, maybe you could try talking to a pastor, priest, or someone in a congregation. Many times, they're trained in psychology, and as such they could offer emotional comfort. At the end, you could also try to heal yourself by reading self-help advice, but please do something.
Posted Tue Dec 06, 2011 08:33 AM
You need to put them out of your life and heart, they drestoyed your family, you, your mother and others should have no contact with them ever.
Posted Tue Dec 06, 2011 09:07 AM
At this point I would have any contact with them. With your half brother I would only have a little bit of contact, you don't want to accidentally let out your disappointment onto him.
I hope you can get past all the hurt soon.
Posted Tue Dec 06, 2011 09:33 AM
I can't believe you're staying around. I feel terrible for what has happened to you, and that no one has that coming to them...but if for no other reason than my sanity, I'd be out of there so fast...
Posted Tue Dec 06, 2011 09:40 AM
Why would I blame my mother and sister? They're just as much as much a victim as I am. I am not about to punish the two people who people who did nothing for the two that did everything.
Posted Tue Dec 06, 2011 10:41 AM
I understand China is culturally different than American and I respect it but I can't necessarily condone it. Family is the one thing I have left and just because one stupid, idiotic, adulterous cretin decided to stick his dick in the wrong happy hole, I am not going to damnate my whole clan.
Posted Tue Dec 06, 2011 10:58 AM
He is his half brother. Same father, different mother.
Posted Tue Dec 06, 2011 11:25 AM
One thing I never mentioned. Its kinda a wasted point but one no less undeserving of mention. I was at this point a virgin. Wanna know what changed when we started dating and then broke up? NOTHING! Yes I am STILL a virgin. The only thing that intimately happened between me and her is me giving her oral sex and fingering her. I never got a single thing in return, period.
Just thought I'd throw that in for good measure.
Posted Tue Dec 06, 2011 02:52 PM
A crime of passion, or crime passionnel, in popular usage, refers to a crime in which the perpetrator commits a crime, especially assault or murder, against someone because of sudden strong impulse such as sudden rage or heartbreak rather than as a premeditated crime.
My rage isn't sudden anymore. It wouldn't count as a crime of passion. Plus that shit usually only works in states like TX.
Posted Tue Dec 06, 2011 03:55 PM
Point is in China it isnt that way, the child was born to a woman not in the family and not married to a guy who is anylonger family.
Biologically, he is his half-brother, regardless of where you live or what your laws are.
Posted Tue Dec 06, 2011 06:11 PM
its going way beyond boundaries. hope u find some way to ease it up. at least u didnt lose ur virginity to her i guess