It’s something I relate to because when I am aroused I do have fantasies about women playfully mocking the size of my penis. However, the enjoyment of this ends almost immediately after I have ejaculated, and the genuine (unpleasant) embarrassment returns.
I certainly did not feel like this when I was younger (teens and early 20s – I am 26 now) and I wonder how it has developed in me. I would assume it is some sort of subconscious self-defense mechanism to protect myself against actual humiliation, but it only triggers when I am already partially aroused. I have also only recently become aware of the websites that deal with this niche of porn.
My last relationship only lasted a few months and I had these feelings before then, and sometimes during sex I would fantasise that she was commenting on the smallness of my penis. Nothing really cruel, but it increases the intensity of my feelings when I think these thoughts. Now it happens when I masturbate.
During arousal, I genuinely feel like I enjoy the fantasy, but then I ejaculate and, like I said, I feel embarrassed if I imagine someone commenting on it’s size.
After a brief meander through this forum, I see most of the men appear to be well endowed (though most men anywhere appear well endowed to me) so I don’t think they’ll be many who understand, but I’m interested in what everyone thinks about it.
Also, should I try and stop having these thoughts or develop them further until I can enjoy being undersized when not aroused? It is a significant undersizing, by the way.
This post has been edited by bigjohnff: Mon Dec 05, 2011 05:12 PM