Ick, my grandfather passed away
Posted Fri May 18, 2007 08:06 PM
This was Wednesday. I feel......nothing. Just blah. Like I'm on autopilot. Going through the motions in a fog. Everyone in the family is bickering, I'm snapping at my mother under the pressure of acting "strong" and being the middle man amongst everyone. I'm not depressed, I'm just.... nothing. I haven't cried yet. Not one tear. I feel like shit. Just down. In a slump.
How do I get my emotion out? I want to cry, I want to release it. I've looked at photos, snuggled with the stuffed animal he gave me as a baby, listened to family members talk about how proud he was of me, read the obituary..... and nothing. No emotion. I'm just empty.
Posted Fri May 18, 2007 08:09 PM
Posted Fri May 18, 2007 08:10 PM
Posted Fri May 18, 2007 09:24 PM
Posted Sat May 19, 2007 08:42 AM
Posted Sat May 19, 2007 10:00 AM
Posted Sat May 19, 2007 07:30 PM
My problem is though..... my mother doesn't get along with anyone in the family. Not. One. Person. She only has me. How do I juggle the rest of the family and her? I'm the only one she has to be with to grieve during everything.
Posted Sat May 19, 2007 08:44 PM
Everyone grieves in their own way. Possibly the service will help for you to have closure and "feel" your emotions rather than thinking what you should be feeling, kwim? Maybe in a way it might be hard for you to believe that its real yet and the service will help you to feel that it is real.
With the family situation... I'd just go with the flow. Families get weird sometimes when a loved one passes with bitterness and anger, but in my last experience it brought everyone together. I would hope that everyone would act in a civil manner and have respect for the loved one you are saying goodbye to.
My thoughts and prayers are with you, hun!
Posted Sat May 19, 2007 11:43 PM