please help with new girl girlfriend issue
Posted Thu Jan 26, 2012 03:57 PM
Posted Thu Jan 26, 2012 04:17 PM
Posted Thu Jan 26, 2012 04:23 PM
Posted Thu Jan 26, 2012 04:28 PM
How many peeps she has slept with shouldn't matter as long as its only you that she is sleeping with now.
Posted Thu Jan 26, 2012 11:10 PM
First, yes, you caring at all about her former experiences makes you an unfairly possessive jerk. Look at how she treats you and your family now, not what her experiences before she even ever knew you were. You should only be concerned about her past to the extent that if affects you today. Are any of her exes stalking her and/or making your life miserable? Did she infect you with an STD? No? Then chill. It's her past; it got her where she is (specifically, with you) today. Don't hang it over her head.
Second, this is not really the point, but... At least 10 former partners? That seems like a lot for a 37 year old? Seriously? I personally know people who have that many partners within a year, and bet that there are others who have that many in much less time than that. I currently have sex with a man who cannot recall how many partners he had, but the count is somewhere between 40-something and 60-something. And he's clean and is good at making me feel good; I get to take advantage of the experience that trained him to be as good as he is today. None of those many former partners negatively affect us now, so that count does not bother me.
Posted Fri Jan 27, 2012 02:29 AM
Posted Fri Jan 27, 2012 03:48 AM
Why do I think that this is the reason you're going through a divorce?
So one day I found myself at her house. No, you don't just find yourself at someone's house one day. There's process that would've transpired prior to you arriving.
We both found ourselves madly in love. Not love. Infatuated. The difference is this : Love, you know them and love them despite or because of everything. Infatuation : You don't know at that point that she's been with at least a WHOPPING 10 guys in her 37 years.
This girl treats me AND MY 4 KIDS better than anyone ever has. If she knew what was good for her, she'd drop you now. With the absurd expectations that she have no/few other men in her past than you, yet you got tons of baggage from a previous relationsship and she's ok with it, she needs to see the duplicitous shit she's enroute to endure in her near future. Please be an upright guy and tell her.
BUT as time went by I started to find things out about her that upset me. That's infatuation for ya. If you "loved" her, you wouldn't care, wouldn't ask, wouldn't wonder,.....nuthin'.
Mostly with the amount of me she has been with. That you're so bent out of shape over something so normal, un-changeable, and ridiculous to expect otherwise...tells me that you wont get over it....because you shouldn't be upset by this in the first place.
Let me say she 37 years old , divorced at 33. I no of about 10 men. WHY do you know of 10 men? WTF did you do, actually ask her to itemize them?
But its still bothers me to think of all these men. Then stop. (you can't). She's good with your kids, and isn't bent outta shape that you had something with another woman LIKE A FAMILY and get pissed that you fucked your wife to the tune of four kids....yet you're bothered because she's at least a double digiter at almost 40 years old? Really?
Am I being a Asshole for no reason cuz she was single and could do what ever she wanted. Yes.
Or should I be concerned. You need a question mark at the end of a question. But yes, you need to be concerned....about your rocked-up mind set.
She has never givin me a reason to think she would be unfaithful. I'm going to go out on a limb, here. It's very telling that you bring up unfaithfulness and how she never gave you a reason to think it of her. You discomfort with her having at least 10 partners in the past is the topic of your thread, your original post...and somehow this original post ends in concern that she might be unfaithful.
This is typical with a lot of guys. For some reason, some guys secretly (they'll never admit it) get consumed by the visuals and scenarios that thier gf had with other men BEFORE meeting her...and feel like she cheated on them with the guys from the past. There's a false connection some guys make with this. It's like...you know she wasn't with you then, yet you're bothered. You're thinking "of all these men". Why? They are no more. They bother you because you feel like someone got what's yours...even though she wasn't with ya at the time.
In order for you to be comfortable, she would've had to be celibant while she waited for a guy she didn't know existed (you). That's a tall order...Like she was supposed to know you were out there and that she banged other guys she cheated on you.
You can say I'm infering way too much. But I'm not....because you ended your original post by wondering if you should question her faithfulness despite giving you NO REASON NOT TO (you words)....the only thing you mentioned bothered you was those 10+ guys, and concluded your post with doubt about her fidelity. Do her a favor : Leave her and go roll with uber old nuns. They wont disappoint you.
This post has been edited by ilyushin: Fri Jan 27, 2012 03:54 AM
Posted Fri Jan 27, 2012 04:53 AM
But in all seriousness - great post
Posted Fri Jan 27, 2012 07:44 AM
May be she just need to do it for her self let it go if she keep going with u and no one else
Posted Fri Jan 27, 2012 09:35 AM
More people should be so lucky to find someone like that. Don't let petty jealousy or ego issues mess up something amazing.
Posted Sat Jan 28, 2012 06:55 AM
Posted Sun Feb 05, 2012 04:52 PM
Posted Tue Feb 07, 2012 10:57 PM
Posted Tue Feb 07, 2012 11:41 PM
Posted Tue Feb 07, 2012 11:51 PM
lol perfect answer.
Posted Tue Feb 07, 2012 11:53 PM
You are getting worked up because your current girlfriend hooked up with you on a casual basis and i turned serious, and you don't approve of her having had casual flings prior to you. Hypocrite, much?
It doesn't matter how many men she slept with prior to you, it's what she does WHILE you are dating that matters. And you say you have no reason to doubt her fidelity. AND she treats your children well. What more could you want in a partner?
I know she certainly deserves better than a partner who builds up paranoid phobias and jealousies in his mind based on something he has no right to be annoyed about, and something that she CAN NOT go back and change. Past is past, either look to the future or set her free to find a man that is worthy of her.
Posted Thu Feb 09, 2012 02:38 PM
Posted Fri Feb 17, 2012 03:58 PM