Lost my girl Broken Heart
Posted Sun Feb 05, 2012 09:24 PM
Posted Sun Feb 05, 2012 09:47 PM
Posted Sun Feb 05, 2012 10:23 PM
Hang in there, darling. I hope things work out for you...
Posted Mon Feb 06, 2012 12:00 AM
Posted Mon Feb 06, 2012 12:38 AM
I don't want to come off looking like a bitch but mainly these women are looking for a visa and passport and a free ride.....I hope things will work out for you
Posted Mon Feb 06, 2012 01:34 AM
Posted Mon Feb 06, 2012 11:39 AM
Unfortunatly the reaction you getting is to expected from people who do not know the realities of living in a "Developing country" . The visa process is alot faster now than it was a few years ago, but yes you could be waiting for many months and its not cheap. Also to take that path you need a job/income that meets the "poverty guidelines" for you to be able to sponsor her.
Unfortunatly as you did not marry your only option is a K1 fiancee visa and depending on many factors can be difficult to get. If you want to discuss that futher PM me.
Is there no way you can find another job, ie teaching English, in her country, or even a country that borders her's ?
Although I dont have personal experiece of what your both going through, I know others that do and I certainly emphatize with you both,a horrible position to be in.
Good answer, very compassionate and realistic perspective, I know people in these sorts of situations too. To the OP - I know these types of situations can work out, I've seen it happen. It doesn't happen everytime, but enough that you should have hope. Just keep your spirits up and keep striving.
Posted Mon Feb 06, 2012 02:38 PM
It ain't streets paved with gold here. We aint the immigrant friendly country we like to believe we once were.
Posted Wed Feb 08, 2012 08:21 PM
As to the point brought up by a previous poster on "visa chasers" yes there are those who do that ,sadly, but not as many as some would like to believe. Probably less than there are "predators" who deceive young girls into migrating to their mansion (read single wide) and not for the married bliss they were promised. So it swings both ways. You don't have to search hard on the Internet to find plenty of horror stories about both.
But anyway what I really want you to think about is the difficulties of migration. It can be very difficult for many of these girls to adjust to living in the west. You probably have some understanding of this as you have lived there. It's like "apples & oranges" the cultures are vastly different. So for a young girl to find herself in a country that she does not 1, understand the culture, 2. may not be even able to speak the language,3, think the food is awful and 4. be thousands of miles away from her family & friends, can be crushing. Many of these relationships fail sadly.
I don't think many in the west understand the meaning of "the family" in the east and the importance it holds, or the obligations it expects from each individual within the family, throughout life. I will give a example which might shine some light on this for those who don't know. Obviously this varies a little from country to country, but the basic premise holds true.
If you are a man, with a gf/fiancée living with you, or you are married, you are expected to "support her" and her family (as you are now part of it ) as needed this is a given, theres no debate on that, thats cultural.
Now here's where it gets tough and complicated. The op understands this and is feeling he is not living up to these expectations (a terrible position to be in ), to compound it he is now there, she is still over here. She has to live,eat, pay her way and remember the east generally is not welfare orientated, so she now needs to work. This is going to be limited by 2 factors her education and her relationships (who you know). If she is poorly educated, from a rural area, her options are going to be very limited.
Now , you could argue, well she just needs to find a local guy to look after her, marry her even. Unfortunately thats very unlikely especially if its known she was living with (or married to) a "foreigner", bogus yes, but unfortunately true. so this is limiting her options more. This is why the OP is concerned about "bar work".
The OP and his fiancée are in a terrible jam right now and I think it would be better for us to support them , rather than throw out statements on "visa chasers".
My heart goes out to you both, I truly hope you find a solution soon, if you or your fianee want to chat talk me. There are some support sites on the net for this I could give you their contact addys.
Hang in there for her.
Posted Wed Feb 08, 2012 09:25 PM
reading this remarks makes me upset, we are not like that anyway...
Posted Thu Feb 09, 2012 02:02 AM
Posted Thu Feb 09, 2012 11:51 AM
Posted Thu Feb 09, 2012 01:02 PM
you'll be okay babe!
Posted Fri Feb 10, 2012 11:02 AM
Posted Mon Feb 13, 2012 12:24 AM
Posted Mon Feb 13, 2012 02:06 AM
Posted Mon Feb 13, 2012 05:21 PM
Posted Wed Feb 15, 2012 03:01 AM