How to discuss swinging, hall-passes and open relationships with your partner ...and not get slapped
Posted Sat Mar 10, 2012 01:25 PM
The reason I'm curious is that I was talking to a girl a couple months ago who said she'd slap her boyfriend if he asked her for permission to have sex with another woman.
My wife and I had that very same discussion and we never slapped each other.
We first discussed it a few years ago after learning that friends of a friend were swingers. The whole idea of it all was exciting to me, but when I brought the subject of an open marriage with my wife she said that was no marriage at all. Now two years later we are full blown swingers complete with his and hers laminated hall-passes and everything. What did we do?
The topic came up a few months ago when an old highschool buddy messaged me suggesting a trip to Las Vegas. Although I had no interest in going, I did mention it to my wife who said that Vegas was only for gambling and getting laid. I told her that since I don't gamble, I would need a hall pass. She said that she would only give me one if I gave her one. Then I asked if she wanted one. And the next thing we know, we are taking naked pictures of each other to post on the swinger sites.
Hopefully this give some ideas to anyone else who would like to broach the subject of opening up the relationship with their spouse.
Posted Sat Mar 10, 2012 09:52 PM
My wife just recently told me that she was very curious about kissing licking an other girl. But as long as i know her and we talked about it she says that she just will never ever have sexual feelings for a girl. So if you ask me, there are two sorts of honesty within a relation ship. Just not saying what you want doesnt make you a liar. And be 100% honest and tell every thing,...also the things that can embarrass you,...like the cocksucking example. The problem was just that she thought it would hurt my feelings if she would tell me that after 10 years of the same cock she would like to suck or fuck a new one. Things get so complicated sometimes for nothing. I told her that it would be the opposite of that and that it turns me on big time to hear her say that she would love to suck anothers guys cock. Let alone to she her doing it!! I told her that life is ironical! I said this,....isnt it strange that when you were, lets say 18 and uou had the oppertunity to fuck an awesome guy together with your bff,...you would not even give it a second thought and you would have done it straight away. So to have a sexadventure with your bff would rock your world,...and you would not envy your bff for also fucking that beautiful gay?! Right? Yeah right she said,....so isnt it a kind of weird then. You see,...you are my bff, kind of,..atleats you mean the world to me and i would do anything for you,...right? Yeah right,...so why shouldn't i have that fun togetjer with you then?! Why should i be jealous? Isnt it the greatest thing to have a sex adventure together with your best friend,...i mean,..you are even more then my best friend,...you are my wife!!!
So why not have some sex adventures and leave the monogamie for what is was en see what is beyond that (impossible) lifestyle. we agreed on that point. And there are some more rules ofcourse. For example that we would never ever do things apart from each other. I wanna see what she is doing and visa versa. Seeing what she is doing is 90% of the pleasure for me. I think that the whole proces i just told took place over more then 7 or 8 years. If you ask me what is most important about all of this, it would defenitly be the talking about it part,...and talking it over and over again( which is fun too) we atarted to do a few 3 some's with a friend of us,...which was good,..but also a bit to complicated at the end. Since a month or so we are going to a sexclub for couples! I can not tell you how liberated you will feel after visiting such a club with your partner! Coz i thought i was really at ease with my own sexuality,...but in fact it is just happening now!! I am really greatfull that my wife wants to do this kind of stuff with me,..and that we took the step to try it atleast! I could not be more happy!! I makes our relation solid as a rock,...really
Posted Mon Mar 12, 2012 11:08 PM
It sounds like you both are having a really good time. I wish things were as liberated here as they are in the Netherlands. I agree, some pretty interesting stuff comes up once you and your partner become totally honest about your fantasies and desires.
Posted Wed Mar 14, 2012 01:53 AM
Posted Thu Mar 15, 2012 11:12 AM
Posted Sat Mar 17, 2012 05:18 AM
either way my answer would be no but one would result in me feeling pissed and the other wouldn't.
Posted Sat Mar 17, 2012 08:15 PM
Posted Sun Mar 18, 2012 09:36 AM
Yeah, I agree. No matter how delicately the subject is brought up, some people will never be comfortable with it. Or she will go along with it because she thinks that's the only way her husband will stay. It kind of ruins the fun for everybody else.