Posted Sat Oct 27, 2007 01:10 PM
Oh and this is fictional. Any resemblance to real ppl is coincidental.
Closing my eyes once again, the usual thoughts run through my half asleep mind; stress, talks of ppl whose opinion wouldnít matter so much if I was fully awake and not in an altered state. I open one eye while still somewhat dreaming and look at the clock beside me. 2 am. I see little butterflies and a big tree under my alarm clock, realityís distorted as Iím drifting deeper in dreamland. In a few seconds I wonít be able to tell which part is real. A thunder breaks my window and sets me on fire. Iím burning alive; as the flames are swallowing me I can tell Iím dreaming but immobilized I canít wake up. The flames reach my face, I canít breath; I finally wake up sweaty, too scared to go back to sleep. It seems Iíll stay awake till dawn again, so Iíd better find something to do. Brainís not working 100% so reading and work would only upset me further.
I turn to the laptop beside my bed, always in stand by, open it, plug the phone wire, dial the internet, and once connectionís established I refresh the gmail and the SF page. Some friends are on and I chat, about the little things. I find there the way to escape stressed reality and bad dreams. Great ppl; we understand each other perfectly though we differ a lot.
Suddenly a member says hi to you, I refresh and see u have just come online. My heart beats a little faster; will u say hi to us? I wonder what ur doing there behind your screen, what ur thinking, what u ll post. I canít think straight; thinking of you too much to have a normal conversation.
I cyber a guy fantasizing u are him. Guilt torments me as I remember the last few times my bf was touching me and we made love, I had my eyes closed fantasizing of you. I shiver at the realization Iíve an issue there. For now itís just me, Iím alone, nobody knows the desire I have for you; a desire burning me worse than the fire in my dream. Iím not touching myself; even when u had pics up they werenít sexual after all. I read your posts admiring your wit, wisdom, personality. What an amazing spirit u r. A shiver goes up and down my spine. And anyone that makes u upset I feel more than ready to break his kneecaps. Ah I hope the others can also see how lucky we are to have u here. Iím not saying a word. Wouldnít annoy or PM harass. And Iím scared a bit. No, a lot. I keep reading your posts. When most are thinking with their dicks, you are a brilliant mind.
I check the online members list, see youíve been idle for half an hour and Iím sad that youíre gone. Ah be safe, whatever ur doing.
My internet persona asks angrily Ďare you falling in love?í. I slap her reminding her sheís not real. She has fallen in love; not I. Iím sitting over here in real life, oppressing a lot, not expressing myself half as freely as she is. She asks me Ďam I real or are you? We canít both be. What is real anyway?í. I trap her in the laptop as I get disconnected from SF trying to get some sleep with the first morning light.
I do not know what to answer her. Sheís got a big crush on you.
Or do I?
Posted Sat Oct 27, 2007 01:23 PM
Posted Sat Oct 27, 2007 04:19 PM
Story thread, poetry thread, joints where you can't touch me? hmm rather illusions that there may be spots u can not reach. U touch me everywhere. Rather u touch Aeon everywhere. Not me (?). Is it that bad that I'm dreaming of u? is it that bad I've shivers all over at your presence? I wish I could feel your weight on me, admit whispering I'm here cause I'm into u a lot and even if u punish me for my desire and admiration I'll still like u more, cause my sub nature craves your attention, your power on me.
It's getting late. If you were to pity and help someone let that be me. cause I can't get over this; I'm no schoolgirl to get that obsessed. Still what can I do? Have mercy on me, I can't control it; I probably will as I'm growing stronger. But for now I'm burning for you. Burning..
Posted Sun Oct 28, 2007 05:58 AM
As I fall asleep worried what I'll come across in dreamland, a light breeze takes me there beside you; I'm an invisible little soul floating above you as you're napping. I land carefully on the bed not to wake you, not to make you suspect there's an entity watching u. Suddenly your breathing becomes more shallow, a knot moves in my throat at the thought u can see me. But u can't, not with your physical eyes. Those r closed not to prevent your inner eyes from seeing what's around u; you reach out one arm and pull me by the hair so hard I'm forced to stop floating again and land forcefully on the bed, while it's still impossible for u to see me. Yet your arm is now on my throat and I'm there, pinned down, surprised you can immobilize me with one arm, surprised u can even feel the presence of a non physical intruder.
My heartbeat races; I'm afraid what u will do to me. Are u doing this in your sleep, I wonder; all that aggressiveness, the power. Excited I hear your breathing getting heavy and I ask myself if that means you're drifting to dreamland or you're getting a hard on. Soon my thoughts are interrupted by your strong arm spinning me around pulling me near you; and I realize it's after all both going on. You are sleeping, and you are having a hard on. That explains why u know exactly how to handle me though u can't see me. I'm a wet dream of yours. I'm dreaming this too but I'm conscious enough to enjoy and remember it when my awake self logs in to sf afterwards. I'm laying beside u on a bed out of space and time, out of the waking reality no one would want to mess with. Your heavy breathing in my ears, and your arms tight on my waist keeping my back on your chest, are making me more and more excited. Holding me so tight I feel your manhood growing on my back like a gun aiming at my most private temple. As your arms release me for a moment I'm allowed to believe I'm free to move as I please. But only for a moment this illusion lasts; this is your dream, you're in charge. I may be the conscious one but it's you I'm here to serve.
You push my head down your waist and thrust your juicy manhood in my mouth. My lips and tongue are playing around it as I'm full of u. In and out, with every thrust u go deeper and I try to kiss your pubes at the base as u are all in me. You pull out, put your tongue now in my mouth, and 2 fingers in a place u can feel for the first time I'm dripping wet for you. Keeping that pose tortures me so sweet, your tongue in my mouth doesn't let me speak, allows me only to moan; moving my hips back and forth to feel your fingers deeper, lets u understand I'm desperately craving for you to enter me.
All of a sudden your hands are off me and I think u ve left me laying there, wanting u. You look at me angrily, say you've things to take care of and must wake now. I'm begging u not to leave me like this; just for a little while; reach out your physical hand to turn the alarm clock off. U spread my legs and get inside me in a movement so sudden I don't realize what hit me. As u thrust deeper, in and out, back and forth, my groin's burning; I cum in waves. U keep thrusting with a force and rage odd; soon I feel such warmth inside me as I'm filled with your cream.
You slap me and vanish, as the alarm clock's on again back in the real world.
U wake up and go on with your waking day, with no memory of your dreams, other than a dim feeling of release.
My alarm clock's making a cruel noise and I awake, remembering everything. I go on with my day, not minding the bitter words of narrow minded ppl I have to put up with every day, keeping an inner piece at the thought of all the pleasure, all the seductive charm that is you.
At the end of the day I log in to sf again, not saying a word, just implying. Ah I want you, a lot. Read my story, ready to behead me if I dare say or imply whom I'm burning for? I won't. U know it's you, I've done things in the past that reveal I'm here cause of my crush on you.
Ah I'm the biggest sf perv!
Posted Mon Oct 29, 2007 03:10 PM
The phone rings late in the afternoon, my bf suggests we go to the movies and there comes, in dark colors, the memory of our last outing, like every other I can remember, so boring and depressing, sunk in the moving sand of routine; and for a moment I regret wasting so many years with him. Co-travelers on a road to nowhere, bored and tired of the futile journey.. To a cyber crush, pushed by his lack of values I seek. Values u represent. True chivalry, loyalty, honor. A bitter realization that was. That I can't go on without those, that u are, to my eyes, an incarnation of those.
The bitter sweet taste of regret is on my lips once again, as I realize what I've done; I've hit on u. Wise women don't do that to the men they admire and respect but I'm not wise. I wish u didn't know how attracted I am to u, I wish I could ask for your help as now honestly I could benefit from your wisdom to save what's left from my real life relationship. I wish I hadn't teased and posted provocative things there in a parallel deleted ghostland. I wish I could erase my trails but I can't hide. Not making any sense probably; no apology is enough right now.
As I turn the air conditioning on, I decide to start a third working out session for today to get warm; it's hell in my room but still my fingernails and lips are purple; I'm shivering.
Something's missing; something I am forgetting. Why is all so empty?
Have I fallen for u or is it only admiration? Am I sexually attracted or is it your spirit and personality I wish my bf had?
Posted Fri Nov 02, 2007 11:11 AM
The sound of a long term relationship crashing down is deafening. Is it my fault, it's been too long since I found this place and fell head over heels for it's ..reason of being the best. Appearances can be deceiving, it doesn't look that way, however I've had much time to realize what attributes I look for in a man. It's being too long since I first wished a guy like u existed in my reality. Since I despised my bf for not being u. And now it's all collapsing, why he can't suspect; it's Aeon's crush; stays trapped on the site like she is.
If u remember me on june on my birthday, wish me not a long life but a good one. Wish me to find a guy like u.
Pissing u off probably, but all I can think of saying to justify myself, is a Yeats verse heard at the Equilibrium movie: 'And I, being poor, have only my dreams. I spread my dreams under your feet. Tread softly; because u tread on my dreams'.. And after reading this aloud the one in the film was shot in cold blood..