My girlfriend doesn't seem to need sex. I need Help.
Posted Sat Jun 30, 2012 09:37 PM
I just turned 20 years old and my girlfriend is close to 19. I do love her more than every other girlfriends I ever had and I never forget to tell her how much I love her.
We are in couple for more than a year as I type. At the beginning, the first months, I felt her lack of sex drive regarding vaginal penetration was just normal as we were just starting to date. I was pleased by our foreplay sessions, including everything a sexually happy couple has, for the exception of penetration.
Before telling her about my desire to penetrate her 7 or 8 months ago, I tried to find the tickle that would make her horny, that would make her ask me to make love to her. For that, I played the badboy genre, the rebel, the lover, the romantic, the independant, the cook, the horny beast, the by myself, the E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G.
She never came up and asked me to penetrate her so I asked her why didn't she seem to want me to make love to her. She said it was hurting her since her ex was kind of brutal with their first penetration so that left her traumatized. Over the time, I learned to make her feel she wasn't an object meant for the men's pleasure but that she could also enjoy penetration, last month, we had sex, it was perfect, and yes, she enjoyed it. I know she did not fake nor lie the fact that she really liked it. That was the only time in her life she genuinely asked by herself for a penetration
Now, the problem is, that she kind of came back to the same status as at our early relation, also known as, the girl that doesn't ask for sex anymore, Even if i have told her a few times that I would like to make love with her and she agreed. We never did it again.
I am really desperate for sex with the woman I love, is that normal? I would like to grab a few advices if you guys have any. Because I am seriously thinking of leaving her, even if I love her, because I NEED SEX in order to be myself, I am not a sex addict nor a rapist, I just want sex with the woman I am with.
Posted Sun Jul 01, 2012 02:19 AM
This part is the problem. It sounds like she has some things that she needs to work through. I would suggest talking with her about it because it sounds like you don't understand the full scope of what might have happened. She may feel more sexual when she feels more comfortable with herself after she gets over what happened in her past, but anything negative like that can absolutely destroy a woman's libido.
Posted Sun Jul 01, 2012 07:51 AM
Posted Sun Jul 01, 2012 08:46 PM
Posted Sun Jul 01, 2012 09:38 PM
None of us know your lady, and we're not licensed professionals...so we don't know if changing her views is what's best FOR HER...although it may just in fact be. I do agree with everyone else though, you need to tell her the complete, uncensored truth about your feelings toward sex, so that she may tell you where she is at on it- her view MUST be changed on her terms- at her pace- if at all.
And like everyone else above, I agree...you have to choose to stay with her and do things at her discretion...she might need to speak to a psychologist...or, you can leave. Love is not black and white to me, it's strength lies along a continuum...and just like how money tests people's morals (e.g., would you kill a single person for say- $5 billion dollars, plus enough money to end world pverty...?)....sex is one of the things that can test the love somebody has for another, in my opinion. How much you love her is being tested right now. It's an objective test, how you feel...is how you feel.
This post has been edited by KNovember: Sun Jul 01, 2012 09:43 PM
Posted Sun Jul 01, 2012 10:37 PM
You know what...it is totally up you. May be a hell of a battle between your feelings and values, but i guess that's what it amounts to. If a person stays in something long enough, feelings can change...so at the end...it's all up to you, by way of two things I guess: 1.) how much you actually love her now- (i.e., your feelings) and/or 2.) your fortitude in sticking with this girl (i.e., your moral/ethical strength/thoughts.)
Posted Sun Jul 15, 2012 05:43 AM
Posted Sun Jul 15, 2012 05:20 PM
dare i say...porn might be the problem? lads expecting to much...lasses cant provide their fellas expectations.
Try to replace "penetration" with "making love"
best of luck, i hope you can work through it.
Posted Sat Aug 25, 2012 12:54 PM