My girlfriend and I have been dating for 1 year. When we started dating the sex was great, and it occurred usually 5x per week. We do not live together, but spent most nights together for the first 10 months. After about 3 months, the frequency went down to about 2x per week. Now, I'm lucky if I get it twice a month.
Let me just say that I feel like I am in love with this woman. I was in love with her in high school and I still am. (we are both 21. We dated in high school and broke up, then got back together a year ago.) The lack of sexuality is frustrating for me, to say the least. I really don't want to break up with her but I'm clearly not getting the attention I think I need. Am I being selfish?
Recently we had a conversation(fight) about the frequency of which we have sex/fool around/be intimate, and during which she said "when I'm horny I don't want to have sex, it makes me feel like I'm using you or something". I tried to explain that it wouldn't be her using me, it would just be us having sex and having fun with each other. She then said she only really wants to have sex when she feels in the mood, and even after explaining it I'm not 100% sure what that means to her. "I need to feel like we are having fun, being happy, and then I need to be horny and that's when I'm in the mood." To be fair to her (even though she will never see this), she has been dealing with depression for the entirety of our relationship. I am just really confused as to why the frequency declined so suddenly. Whenever I try to bring it up she either:
a. gets extremely upset and leaves completely, not wanting to talk about it.
b. gets extremely upset and yells at me and tells me that I'm trying to initiate it improperly.
She has once told me to just wait for her to initiate it, but since I've started waiting it has been more than three weeks already.
Easy enough to understand, I know. However after a few days I tried to initiate it again after a very fun night. We went to dinner and then a movie, and then tickle wrestled for 30 - 45 minutes in bed. When I tried to kiss her and reach for her ass she pulled my hand away and turned on her side facing the wall. I asked if something was wrong and she told me she felt like we only had fun that night so that I could get sex.
Is there something that anyone here can see that I'm missing?
What am I supposed to do in this situation? I don't want to break up with her, but I want to feel more connected sexually.
This post has been edited by ShyGuy_18: Tue Jul 03, 2012 09:52 AM