Last year, around July 4, I went with my Dad to a Chess tournament in Philadelphia that he was taking part in. He played in the tournament at the "lower levels," I just went along to keep him company and do some sightseeing. I noticed a pretty young lady there and that she seems very friendly, well-liked by everyone etc. It turned out that she's a "World Grand Master" at Chess, in fact she's the very best Chess player in Belarus. I did a little digging on the Internet when I got home and decided that I really liked what I was seeing.
This year I went again with my Dad to Philadelphia, and in the back of my mind I was at least hoping to have a chance to chat with her. But - the Hotel was CROWDED, and it seems she probably wasn't even staying there, but in a nearby hotel.
Let me mention first - she's not just "nerd smart" or "smart in Chess," she's in-general very, very intelligent, she has strong social skills etc., she may have a "shy side" but she's not a wallflower and is enjoying being young.
The first day, I went to the ballroom and took a slow, quiet walk around - "And then I saw her face - Now I'm a believer." It's considered acceptable to watch the games and I subtly watched from a reasonable distance quietly. She suddenly realized a guy was checking her out, looked around, saw me and looked me in the eyes. Obviously this was not a social situation and not an "appropriate" opportunity to talk.
Over the next week, I was still hoping to "run in to her" but it just wasn't happening. I became, frankly, sort of "quietly desparate," not literally "stalking" her but once I went so far as to grab a couple of chairs in the outer ball room, put my feet up and read a book so she'd at least see me. She came out and walked by quickly - this is a BIG room by the way - and she had a "pout" on her face - some people might argue that I was annoying her at that point but some might argue that that's "just part of the dance." (I was definitely on her radar at that point though.) I felt though, that it would be a mistake to "chase after her," that seemed a little too "stalky" to me especially since it was late at night and she was probably tired.
The next day was the last day of the tournament. My Dad and I went up to take one last look around - he watched a REALLY major game with two of the very best players in the world; I "pretended" to watch some games on the projector screen. As I had been walking in I noticed her finishing her game out of the corner of my eye and shaking the other player's hand. She went over to talk very quietly to some friends - yes they were all guys. I flirted with her like my LIFE depended on it! I got her attention and she eventually looked me right in the eyes and seemed to be reacting positively. She then went over and talked to a friend behind me. And then, in order to talk to another group of guy friends, "just happened" to walk right smack in front of me. (Like I indicated, this person has some very strong social skills.) It was literally a now-or-never thing and I had literally less than two seconds. I happen to know there's a Facebook accont BUT it may be run by the Belarusan Publicity Machine or she may just plain not pay attention to it. There's photos uploaded every once in a great while but that's pretty much it. It was all I could think of and so I asked her in a whisper voice, "Excuse me do you have a Facebook account?" The split-second I began talking she turned her head towards me with a friendly smile, and she looked me RIGHT in the eyes, but then she looked away and whispered back "No-" and like an idiot I said "Oh okay, never mind." Without hesitating she kept walking and then was talking quietly with the other group of friends. We continued to flirt back-and-forth a bit but a bit more awkwardly this time. (I should mention, also, I'm fairly sure that she COMPLETELY understood my situation and realized that I was trying as hard as I could but that there "wasn't much I could do" that wouldn't cause a scene, which of course she would consider 100% unacceptable. So my questions I guess are,
1.) What SHOULD I have said or asked in that live-or-die, split-second that she gave me? (Asking for her phone number in Belarus wouldn't have been such a hot idea, it seems, and since I was a complete stranger to her I don't think she would have agreed to go get a drink or something.)
2.) What now? I understand the logistics of the situation just as well as she does but this really does feel almost like a "love at first sight" kind of thing. Obviously she gets a lot of attention but I honestly feel it's deeper than that. On the left of the scale is reason and logic and reality (her specialities ) ; on the right of the scale is the tiny little detail that I'm like "Holy SH*T, she might be my MATE."
I did in fact send a "Friend Request" to the Facebook account, but nothing yet. A photo has been added since the tournament - CLEARLY a professional, publicity-type photo - but nothing else. It's practically a "dead page." (There's nothing that's hidden from "non-friends," it's just photos and one interest group and that's it.)
Also, in case anyone doesn't know, the situation in Belarus is not good. There's a guy named Lukashenko running the joint who's quite the amateur thug - people are disappearing. She's in some danger and she knows it. He just sent his foreign minister to make deals with China and while she and I were in Philadelphia he was in Cuba meeting with Raul Castro and then Venezuala. She's not a free person and she knows it. And yeah - I HATE that, in fact it's vehemently offensive to me and I'd help her in any way I could.
Just as a quick by-the-way, also, yes, I'm batting way, way out of my league here. Her I.Q. is probably 160 or higher, she speaks fluent Belarusian (often - it's being used as a "protest language" by the young as is wearing orange, which she does on occasion), as well as Russian, Spanish, English and German. At least. All fluently. And she recently graduated from Law School, with all the honors etc. one might expect. (High grades, etc.) She's in a tough situation and so she's racing for pinks with all she's got.
On the other hand - I think maybe I Love her!
And so any and all advice would be greatly appreciated.
It's an unsolvable problem which I feel I must solve.
By the way, it's probably clear already but her Dad would be like "OH have we made things DIFFICULT for you? Poor dearie!!!"
This post has been edited by Ghost_Tracker: Tue Jul 17, 2012 10:49 PM