Jealouxy issue... HELP!
Posted Tue Sep 04, 2012 05:59 AM
I would like some advise on how to beat this devastating feeling...
Posted Tue Sep 04, 2012 06:47 AM
For a start, discipline yourself not to check her profile or her recent posts. Forget about that. She is not responsible for who posts on her profile or after her in threads - particularly the games thread. You may want to get her to log on anonymously which will give here a little more privacy should you be tempted to check on her last posts.
I don't really know you that well, but do you flirt on the board? If so, how do you expect your wife to react to that? Isn't it only fair that she can do the same?
Anyway, remember that this is not real-life. You are real life ot her and it is you that she turns to when she really needs something - anything!
And enjoy yourself here - both of you!
Posted Tue Sep 04, 2012 07:22 AM
Posted Tue Sep 04, 2012 08:16 AM
Posted Tue Sep 04, 2012 01:00 PM
I can't help you, because I have no idea how jealousy feels. Would you tell me how it feels? What exactly is jealousy? How does it feel?
I know from fighting other kind of issues of the mind that it isn't easy to just stop feeling in ways we don't want to. Perhaps a health professional could teach you ways to cope. Like the things they teach people who have anger issues (I know it's different, but perhaps there are also ways to kind of breathe yourself out of a "crisis").
Please, forgive my ignorance. Good luck.
Posted Tue Sep 04, 2012 02:45 PM
Posted Tue Sep 04, 2012 05:54 PM
Posted Wed Sep 05, 2012 03:01 AM
There is a wider debate that could be argued that without jealousy, there is no true connection with a partner. However, this is more about how to control and live with that jealousy. Some of the measures I suggested will help on this board, however, as for Facebook or anywhere else. It must come down to trust and not checking what your wife has been doing.
Posted Wed Sep 05, 2012 05:02 AM
The problem with acting on jealous emotions (and Somhairle is right, everyone experiences them at times) is that people who are feeling accused of things they are not doing, will eventually get to a stage of figuring that if they're going to cop the punishment (ie lack of trust, jealous rages etc) then they might as well be doing whatever they're getting into trouble for.
Each day you need to look yourself in the face and remind yourself verbally in the mirror that you are a terrific husband, and your wife loves you, and you have a strong and loving relationship. And remind yourself how ever many times a day you need to, that this is the case.
Posted Wed Sep 05, 2012 12:14 PM
Posted Fri Sep 07, 2012 10:23 AM
Sometimes in the situations that you describe in your post, in my opinion, some folks confuse jealousy with rage. To that end, I think how you handle both are going to be different perhaps. I don't think in many cases a gal being friendly with another man is jealousy...its really anger and rage.
Posted Tue Sep 11, 2012 06:17 PM
I'm not a professional (which I believe is what you need) but I will wish you luck with beating this, and don't give up.
Posted Tue Sep 11, 2012 07:27 PM
We both feel as though in order to be ourselves, explore opportunities, and be sexually satisfied, we have to be honest with one another and be able to communicate freely with one another.
If there are issues that bother you with your wife, our suggestion would be to first write them down in great detail and then set a time to sit down and talk about it. If you both love and respect each other, you will find ways to address and overcome this.
Remember, an open lifestyle may not be right for you in the long run. Please communicate with one another and know that you're not alone in feelings of jealousy.
(HIM & HER)